Wednesday, October 24th 2012

Dita Von Teese's Beauty Tip Of The Day: Pluck Your Nipple Hairs

Dita Von Teese can't physically grow body hair since all of her follicles died years ago when she had her skin replaced with layers of porcelain, but she's still out there telling you what you should do with your body hair. Dita has a beauty book coming out and she talked a little about it with Into The Gloss (via HuffPo). Dita's beauty book will include tips on beauty crap you shouldn't do around your dude and she also recommends keeping your nipples as smooth as your pussy:

"My beauty book is going to be totally different from what’s out there. I’m going to tell you that you have to pluck the nipple hairs off your nipples before a date—I’m here to tell you that."

Excuse you, Heather Sweet. You don't HAVE to pluck a nipple hair off before a date. Sometimes nipple hairs come in handy. What if you and your piece just had a romantic steak dinner? What if he got meat chunks stuck between his teeth and needed to get that crap out? If you have a long nipple hair, he can use it to floss the shit out of his teeth and he can give you a quick tingle by licking your nipple knob at the same time. The same goes for b-hole hairs. Nipple hairs lead to fun AND they're fully functional. A nipple hair is nature's floss.

Posted by: Michael K


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Bossy's picture

Nipple hair? What is she talking about? I don't have that and have never heard of people having that.

Jbo's picture

Whew - I thought I was the only one who plucked nipple hairs :)Thought I was a freaky of something...

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Hold up! Hell NO! Like Britney Spears I wear no drawers!

OooooNooo's picture

Mae West: "The only place hair belongs on a woman's body is her head."

MickeyHolland's picture

@IF

Serves me right for not scrolling down. I should have known the Dutch papers were tardy for the party, but still: WOW!

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Who are you calling silly cow?

literarylioness's picture

Submitted by miznona on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 6:29pm.
NIPPLE HAIRS? I'm half Persian so I'm always worried about every disgusting place hair could possibly emerge... though it hasn't yet. Thanks Dita, you bitch!
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Only half? My kids are half Persian too, but male. I would feel so bad for them if they were female. Between my hairy French ass and my hubbs hairy Persian ass, we got hair everywhere.

I got my stuff lasered off, but it came back!

literarylioness's picture

Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 8:00pm.
ah the english! yes, yes! we have someone who is proud to be english heritage, just like me! everyone wants to be someone different. german, french, or something exotic. but english? god i love the english. it is crazy as fuck if someone asks you "what you are" and you say "english!" they look at you half retarded. a large percentage of americans are english, but seem to want to say something else. why? when people ask what i am, i say i am english, and then there is a pause, and they say, "really?"
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You think that's bad. I've met people who think English is just a language! They don't understand it's actually an ethnic group too.

You should just say you're British and really screw with them.

Mel-Tang's picture

Gee Dita, what would we do without you? Thanks for sharing that tip.

I have been blonde my entire life, and have arm hair, leg hair, light facial hair, etc. I have to tweeze, shave, etc. It gets old quickly and I wish I didn't have to do it, but I think it's hormonal. As I get older, new hair pops out of places I didn't think hair could grow. It's not fun.

Ladies who don't have these 'issues' yet...be grateful. Sorry to those who suffer from pcos. :( Although I've never been diagnosed with it, I do understand how frustrating it is to have to keep up with hair removal every day just to feel normal.

* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

charlie loves tiger's picture

Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 8:10pm.

Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 8:00pm.

Yeah, I'm a first generation american, my mom came here from england.
here in Cleveland, if you're Irish, holy shit, you're so fucking proud that every shirt or hoodie or bumper sticker or whatever you own is about being Irish.. I don't go that far, but still, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
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if you do your research, you know the whole anglo ethnicity is pretty much confined to England, Scotand, Ireland, Wales and France. they are the Anglos. Once you get further into Europe, you get into the Saxons, which are the Germans, Scandanavians, and Hapsburgs. that is where the term "Anglo-Saxon" came from because so many people were a mixure of both.

A lot of people like myself can say they are pure anglo, not saxon.

Anita Bidet's picture

going out with marilyn manson will make anyone look beautiful in comparison

rook's picture

Submitted by agirl on Wed, 10/24/2012 -7:11pm.

Submitted by rook on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 6:19pm. I watched a Masterpiece Theater movie on PBS as a kid and a Victorian-era woman (think she was played by Helena Bonham Carter) was shown topless in a bathtub washing herself. First time I had ever seen nipple hair (lush!) on a woman and the resulting trauma ingrained that memory into my brain so that I could share it upon reading a post about nipple hair 25 yrs later. The end.

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"Lush"? Like a toupee? A weave? A horse's tail? I am trying to picture... wait, why am I trying to picture that?

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Remember those scrunchies that were made of fake hair (you could get them at Claire's)? Like that. Around both nipples.

christine the hoff's picture

Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 8:00pm.

Yeah, I'm a first generation american, my mom came here from england.
here in Cleveland, if you're Irish, holy shit, you're so fucking proud that every shirt or hoodie or bumper sticker or whatever you own is about being Irish.. I don't go that far, but still, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"

charlie loves tiger's picture

Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 7:44pm.

Again, I thank God for being both blonde, and of English heritage. we are just not hairy people.
__________________

ah the english! yes, yes! we have someone who is proud to be english heritage, just like me! everyone wants to be someone different. german, french, or something exotic. but english? god i love the english. it is crazy as fuck if someone asks you "what you are" and you say "english!" they look at you half retarded. a large percentage of americans are english, but seem to want to say something else. why? when people ask what i am, i say i am english, and then there is a pause, and they say, "really?"

christine the hoff's picture

Again, I thank God for being both blonde, and of English heritage. we are just not hairy people.

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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"

Tigerlilly's picture

Plucking nipple hairs before a date? You don't say Dita. Should I change my undies after a wet fart too? I mean who would be all like "Yeah, ravage me and my nipple hairs?" No, if you have that problem, you take care of bidness. Nobody wanna see that.

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Thank the Lord for sparing me from nipple hair, but have spent a fortune on electrolysis. My mom is unwanted hair-free, so I blame my dad with the Chewbacca-like sisters that he has. When I gave birth to my daughter, the first thing I did was check for a unibrow.

Bree's picture

Thanks to everyone for being so understanding re: PCOS.

Submitted by DiamondDogs on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 3:59pm.

It's especially frustrating when, on top of all of your symptoms, the people in your life think you're making it all up/it's all in your head because it's a problem they can't see for themselves.

If you can't tell, I'm having a "poor me" day, hahaha. Thanks for the laughs here today, I needed it.

agirl's picture

Submitted by rook on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 6:19pm.
I watched a Masterpiece Theater movie on PBS as a kid and a Victorian-era woman (think she was played by Helena Bonham Carter) was shown topless in a bathtub washing herself. First time I had ever seen nipple hair (lush!) on a woman and the resulting trauma ingrained that memory into my brain so that I could share it upon reading a post about nipple hair 25 yrs later. The end.

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"Lush"? Like a toupee? A weave? A horse's tail? I am trying to picture... wait, why am I trying to picture that?

WithinReason...'s picture

Dita certainly cares a lot for her appearance and she's definitely off-beat. I think she'd definitely have interesting things to say about beauty, like Debi Mazar. But nipple hair?!?!

Thanks MK, now I'm thinking of her porcupine quills and floss! hahahaha

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

KA's picture

ummmmmmm yeah i dont have nipple hair. never have. and i really doubt the dudes i've been with would have known anyway. you're 100x more conscious about your body than any guy is. and if you're turning your nose up at a stray nipple hair, lower your fucking standards.

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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK

charlie loves tiger's picture

well, that is assuming you have them. i've been with a lot of chicks over the years and haven't seen hardly any nipple hairs. but hair is a funny thing. you can have these blond haired, fair skinned chicks who grow mustaches and dark haired people who hardly have any hair. any everything inbetween. landwhale had super dark hair until she went grey, and never had a hair sprout up on a lip or nipple. it is weird as hell. but one thing is for sure, the older you get the less hair.

NIPPLE HAIRS? I'm half Persian so I'm always worried about every disgusting place hair could possibly emerge... though it hasn't yet. Thanks Dita, you bitch!
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Oh, Blanche. You know we got rats in the cellar?

rook's picture

I watched a Masterpiece Theater movie on PBS as a kid and a Victorian-era woman (think she was played by Helena Bonham Carter) was shown topless in a bathtub washing herself. First time I had ever seen nipple hair (lush!) on a woman and the resulting trauma ingrained that memory into my brain so that I could share it upon reading a post about nipple hair 25 yrs later. The end.

Pinkismyblack's picture

Submitted by babybunny on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 5:27pm.

I am ethnic as hell and have not grown nipple hairs yet, and for someone who seems to have no hair why would that even come up....how about regular parts of your body hair, that is such a weird subject
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What's being "ethnic" have to do with it?

Dannii's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 3:11pm.

I like my women smooth and sexy and I'm not talking about her ginny either we don't need to go down THAT road every time. I just like nice smooth arms and legs, if she has a light little trail going to the happy zone that's OK but if she's got hairy armpits and hairy legs I'm going to hairy the hell out of there! :P

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tbh i feel exactly the same about my men. whats good for the goose is good for the gander, and unless you are hugh jackman i cant see men pulling off the hairy look either.

Esteem's picture

Hmm. Count me amongst the sheltered. I've never see another woman with long nipple hair, although the plucking of said long hairs seem to be a no-brainer?

babybunny's picture

I am ethnic as hell and have not grown nipple hairs yet, and for someone who seems to have no hair why would that even come up....how about regular parts of your body hair, that is such a weird subject I for once can't comment even though I am still commenting, I comment like I talk which is all the time and at every opportunity...

iloveloureed's picture

Dita can do no wrong. <3

agirl's picture

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:40pm.
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:38p

Yes, your mom's will work also thanks!!!!!

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BASTA! Stu cazzo....

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by agirl on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:38p

Yes, your mom's will work also thanks!!!!!

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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012

"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers

@ pushy

I'm a real neat freak. My roommate says I'm a female Jeff Lewis. I dunno, I just feel better when things are clean and tidy.
Nice that your hubbie is also neat. It would be hard to live with a slob. LOL

annobanano's picture

@ Lisbet - I like that motto!

agirl's picture

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:34pm.
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:31pm.

I am Italian (dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin) and can barely see the hair on my arms.
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mi mostri le tette, per favore

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HEY! We're talkin about arms, not bewbs! Cafone!

*asks my mom how to say "reported" in Italian*

Submitted by bridgjones on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:34pm.
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:31pm.

+++++++++++++++

I've waxed my arms a few times, when I thought they were getting a little furry.

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Me too. I also like the feeling on having smooth skin.

little_rascal's picture

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:30pm.

Submitted by little_rascal on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:18pm.

What were you thinking?
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I wasn't.

BTW - I sent the text a few minutes ago... will let you know.

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Great!

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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.

Aphid's picture

I imagine it's difficult to be Dita 24/7.

I'm lucky Mr. Aphid does my personal landscaping and never had to do any nipple hair shearing.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
That's a very expensive chardonnay you're not drinking...

can be a pushy broad's picture

Submitted by DiamondDogs on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:15pm
Love shredding:) Mr saves his stuff for me to shred. I'm anal neat as well. and clothes, towels and such must be in color order and folded the same way. Mr is pretty anal neat as well so that's good.

bridgjones's picture

Submitted by agirl on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:31pm.

+++++++++++++++

I've waxed my arms a few times, when I thought they were getting a little furry.

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by agirl on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:31pm.

I am Italian (dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin) and can barely see the hair on my arms.
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mi mostri le tette, per favore

LOL anno!! I look like dog the bounty hunter in my main pic... drunk with this chicks hair extensions in... *deactivates account*

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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012

"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers

annobanano's picture

@ Jack - a misogynistic Pig who needs a damn fridge!

agirl's picture

Wait, there are women who have to shave their ARMS? And have daily stubble, on their ARMS?

*blink blink*

I am Italian (dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin) and can barely see the hair on my arms.

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by little_rascal on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:18pm.

What were you thinking?
-------------

I wasn't.

BTW - I sent the text a few minutes ago... will let you know.

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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012

"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers

bridgjones's picture

Submitted by CashewTime on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:24pm.

+++++++++++++++

I'm guessing they just assumed I was on my period.

Submitted by DiamondDogs on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:21pm

Even though I procrastinate with them, I lovve washing dishes. So satisfying! And cleaning my car is also fun. And I agree, getting rid of paperwork and having the stapler in the perfect position is the best.

Submitted by bridgjones on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:09pm

That's how I keep my sluttery in check also. If I shave before going out, who knows what can happen.

bridgjones's picture

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:17pm

+++++++++++++++++

OH yes, that was my rule. I didn't tell them WHY I wasn't putting out. I also will not do any "maintenance" in front of my husband. He just needs to know it is done.

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Wed, 10/24/2012 - 4:18pm.
DiamondDogs - are you an admin too? heehee. Sometimes I feel like Hermes from Futurama, lol.

____________________

I just like tidiness and order in my life. Having stray paperwork around drives me nuts. It either needs to be stapled and filed away or shredded.