In a few years, bitchy bloggers and gossiping whores will need the perfect picture to Photoshop a jagged break line into when Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel eventually get a divorce, so People will be providing that picture on the cover of tomorrow’s issue. TimberBiel gave People magazine the EXCLUSIVO rights to publish the pictures from their $6.5 million Italian wedding and the only thing they asked for is a check for $300,000. TimberBiel will also get another check from OK! for the European rights to publish the picture of Justin serenading Jessica with an acoustic version of “Cry For You“ as she pinches her ass lips because she can’t believe this day has finally arrived after years of clinging to his taint.
Jimmy Fallon, Andy Samberg, Beverley Mitchell and Questlove were all guests at TimberBiel’s wedding, but four very important blasts from Justin Timberlake’s past were not guests. Bitch didn’t invite ‘N Sync! Page Six says that neither Lance Bass, JC Chasez, Chris Kirkpatrick nor Joey Fatone got an invitation. TMZ says that Chris was in Italy at the time, but they don’t know if he was a guest at Justin’s wedding. One source said that N’Sync is sad about getting snubbed by Justin, because they loved him at his lowest and by that I mean they loved him even when he had cornrows:
The band were not invited and are pretty upset about it. But the wedding guests were mainly close family and friends.”
People could’ve posted a picture of a chewed-up Styrofoam bowl wearing a veil next to a beige butt plug and all of us would’ve said, “Awww, Jessica and Justin look beautiful,” so they obviously wasted their money. But since Jessica and Justin managed to get $300,000 from People, I hope they donate that money to charity. And I hope that charity is the Make An ‘N Sync Member Happy Again Foundation, because Justin’s rude ass has a whole lot of making up to do.