Presenting The Real Star Of The Carousel Of Hope Ball
While ev.ree.bud.ee is using their bandwidth on ho collector George Clooney and Stacy Keibler, I'm sitting here wondering why all the attention is not going to the real and most important star of Saturday night's Carousel of Hope Ball: JOAN VAN ARK!
Stacy Keibler might have a team of stylists paid for by George who put her body in the finest (and ugliest) designer gown and she might have a team of hair people paid for by George (Note: In case you haven't noticed, "Paid for By George" is the current tagline for Stacy's life) who use the finest products to style her hair into that of a 60-something socialite circa 1968, but she doesn't look 1/100th as glamorous as Joan Van Ark does and Joan does it all herself!
Yes, Joan picked out that white wedding dress herself at a David's Bridal clearance sale and then dyed it the color of the tears her haters cry out when they see her looking more beautiful than them. Yes, Joan torched her own brows so they look like two strips of delicious creme brulee. Yes, Joan sandpainted her own face. Joan did it all herself. It's times that like this when I'm sad to live in a world where Stacy Keibler's basic ass is getting more attention than the goddess that is Joan Van Ark. This world ain't right.
Oh, and because some of you ain't right, I also threw in pictures of Stacy with George Clooney (aka the man slut carousel of hos) at the Carousel of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills.
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I'm getting a Jackie Stallone vibe. YIKES
Happy Halloween
"Sometimes all a woman has to hold onto is being a bitch" Dolores Claiborne/Stephen King
Creepy body language on 'Cloobler'. She does not trust him. Those rumours of him kicking her to the kerb were true and he delayed it due to negative press I reckon.'
I feel sorry for her. He's an ass to women.
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Wyle E
"understand that a slow red panda who nibbles pickles and does somersaults in the middle of a dancefloor is entertaining to a 7-year-old... " MK.
THIRSTAY!! She needs a tub of Udder Balm to slather on that mug.
Oh God, the new cast of the RHOBH and now this! And I even looked at photos of Lara Flynn Boyle today too. But even so, I did toy with the idea: Joan or George? And I have to say they are an even tie, both old and gross. George is a few years away from looking like Joan. And yes, George could be Stacey's dad, a consolation for her in every photo shoot when he dresses her like his mom. Which is one of the reasons she has lasted, IMO, she is the most like his mom of the recent candidates. Git that money giiirrll. I wonder if he makes her bathe in Jean Nate?
her skin looks sun damaged.
anyho, for my skin regime, i do skin peeling or exfoliating. not the harsh ones, the subtle ones.
i bought the cream from china, so its probably made out of pokemon's blood, but GOSH its goood! literally fades the wrinkle lines.
i cant read chinese, but i know it works.
ffs i am SO sick of all these women who keep doing this to themselves. and their numbers are growing.
(did you see Uma Thurman and Sandy B photos lately?)
joan was 1 of the first to eff up her face .. and she took her whole ship down with her...
no coming back from that eff up.
ffs she looks like the wife of JAck Nicholson's JOKER.
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"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode
How old is this woman? Because if she is 127, she does look good for her age.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
why do people get work done if they end up looking like that? seriously? you can't walk out of the plastic surgeon's office and go "yeah im happy with this look"
id ask for a fucking refund for turning me into a melting wax statue at madamme tussaud's museum.
This is just not right. The human head was seriously never meant to look like Joan's face. Holy hell. She makes Joan Rivers look possibly human. The doctor or "doctor" who messed her up beyond the point of no return should be held accountable. Does she have any idea what she really looks like????
He still looks like Stacy's father, bwahahahaha that and he's sucking the hot out of her.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Joan got run over by that Ark..now she looks like Noah.......
Of course he's not into her, she's a woman. HE hired her as his pretend girlfriend. Lainey always alludes that he's into some freaky S & M crap. She hints that his broken arm from a few years ago was not due to a fall, but some sexual game.
She dresses and styles her hair matronly so that he doesn't look like her grandfather.
OMG!
WTF!!!!
OK - this woman needs more people. NO ONE should have let her out (in full view of cameras) looking like that. Damn, that is scary. I need to step away from my computer for awhile to cleanse that image away!!!
The way Stacy Kiebler dresses makes me think that Clooney is either straight, straight and trashy, a gay but derpy or doesn't want her to look purdier than he is, or just stingy. Why isn't he hiring her a stylist? The girl is pretty but these dresses, blech!
seems thay still yonug,i hopoe in the future i can do like them..........
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That fourth picture of Joan Van Ark scared the living shit out of me!!!
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"Money is the magic wand that turns a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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George is so not into this chick. It's just so obvious and sad and this is coming from someone who doesn't think he is gay.
I think she might be cyanotic. Her lips are blue.
Children listen, if you dont listen to mommy and daddy, La Llorona will come for you at night...
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by the original be... on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 9:07pm.
I read ages ago that she had some bad plastic surgery early on, when she was still beautiful and didn't even need it yet.
I dunno though, I think I agree also with someone down thread that likened it to a bad chemical peel. Maybe several. She does look burned.
Awful.
Honest question: What are those scars on her face from? Are they from plastic surgery, or did she have an accident (burns? acid? too harsh a chemical peel?) sometime in her life?
Ugh, disgusting. Sad part is you know she thinks she looks good.
WTFOMGLOL.....hahahaha! So true.
I think she's also channeling a crypt-keeper, Celine Dion in the first pic. Yikes.
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<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Jennifer Aniston: This is your future, if you're not careful.
Women are REALLY having a difficult time accepting this aging thing, aren't they? Just exercise and eat right, and let nature take its course. Jeezus.
I blame George Clooney.
Oh...and I wish I had Stacy's body. The end.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
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Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 7:20pm.
Her face! My God!
She looks better than she has in ages.
I saw her in person several years ago and I thought Halloween had come to her home early tho it was really still spring.
Her face! My God!
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
FACE.
Looks like the love child of Loni Anderson and The Cryptkeeper
Just in time for Halloween..
Mother is in one of my fave cheesy scary movies "FROGS" which I think is probably the only scary cheesy movie left Hwood hasnt remade and ruined. JVA, Sam Elliot , Ray Milland and Black Supermodel Judy Pace round out the cast . perfection in its silly scary awfulness.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068615/
Now On to the Belle of the ball , absolute Pefection Lolly , let them feel the burn of true glamour Joanie xo
Its not plastic surgery , its a medical condition!!
Oh Joan. Send a check and stay home.
Burn victim indeed.
Clooney and Kiebler have odd body language in those pix but maybe that is normal.
Joan looks like a burn victim.
Poor Joan. If she had a half-decent stylist (at least some okay makeup and a better hair colour/style and a dress that wasn't 5 sizes to big) she would look like a 1/ 10 instead of a -15/ 10. She used to look like this http://www.google.ca/imgres?hl=en&biw=1143&bih=575&tbm=isch&tbnid=C3TEWl...
Ever since I read a thinly-veiled blind vice, I'm convinced that Stacy K is a hot lesbian. All her pagenty, sequined gowns look like a lesbian's idea of what a straight woman would wear... all the while she'd rather be in combat boots and white undershirt (no bra).
Well, Joan's look is not all bad: I know now who I'm going as for Halloween!
silver lining: she's got a lock on the Pruneface role in the next Dick Tracy movie!
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 4:50pm.
Submitted by NIKKI on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 4:47pm.
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Whaddya at? :))
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dis is it b'y!
'islandgirl' nice to meet ya.
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"Oh no, no, no, sweet baby. They're gonna eat you alive in Hollywood. Oh you're definitely going to end up doing gay porn with this tiny little body of yours" -Sweet Dee
Hi ME,
Pink eye sounds the best one so far. Or flu, which is easier to fake if anyone drops by. Just keep bankers and thermometers on hand and rehearse just in case.
This broad has had self-image problems for decades!
Just watch any rerun of Knot's Landing and you'll see that she had a soft-focus lense requirement written into her contract. It's laughably jarring!!
She'd be doing a scene with the great Julie Harris, who was comfortable in her own skin, 20 years older, but looking great and natural with no special lenses - then they'd jump to a close up a Joan in the same room, but in a misty, gauzy haze.
But Joan, dearie, there's no such thing as a soft focus lense on the red carpet, it's all HD and high def is definitely not your friend, sister!
I remember they used to do that to Cybill Shepherd on Moonlighting. It was very distracting and kind of sad.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
That's a very expensive chardonnay you're not drinking...
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 3:22pm
ETA: the most youthful looking old broads are the ones who don't get PS and do yoga and run marathons and eat right. They're wrinkled but spry
:) Well, I got the no PS down. Need to work on those marathons, yoga and eating right though:)
That's pretty good work for a face transplant.
#1 I think Clooney is gorgeous, I think I have a thing for "old" guys too (and always have);
#2 I'm all for telling your family that you need/want to take a year off to start a new tradition with your own family! There is nothing wrong with that. What we did: we volunteer at a homeless shelter every T-Day, cooking, serving, etc., then the next 3 days are our "crash days".
#3 Joan Van BLECH! Seriously, she needs to stop showcasing herself at these events. Plastic surgeons everywhere must hate her, since she serves as a warning to anyone considering P.S.
Did she have her makeup done at a funeral home? Good Lord.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
She might be improved a little if she didn't wear that GD glittery pink eyeshadow. That stuff is so harsh and it makes her eyes look bloodshot.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 3:47pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 3:46pm.
Kids have head lice?
M.E. this is a good one!!! or PINK EYE.
No one wants to be around someone with pink eye
and it is highly contagious.
Submitted by NIKKI on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 4:47pm.
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Whaddya at? :))
Submitted by kiwikim on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 3:33pm.
In most of these photos, it looks like Keibler is helping her aged grandfather walk.
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LOL
He does look feeble!
Her face has been butchered and burned. On top of it, that dress doesn't fit. It needs to be tailored. She's so tiny, the dress is swallowing her alive.