If you’ve got nothing better to do, like steal a TV from a sports bar bathroom with your brother/fake hump partner or conduct a poll in your office on if you should dress as a slutty corn on the cob or a slutty honey badger for Whore-O-Ween, then spend the next 15+ minutes of your life watching awkward Kristen Stewart being awkward while awkwardly asking awkward questions from her fans about some stupid perfume.
KStew’s crazy fans submitted over 5,000 questions about being the face of Balenciaga’s Florabotanica fragrance and Virginie Mouzat asked like 3 of those questions during a live Q&A yesterday. The Q&A was supposed to last 30 minutes, but it was cut short, because the camera dude had a nervous breakdown from watching KStew’s restless leg syndrome, restless eye blinking syndrome and restless insufferable twat syndrome in action. If you hit the mute button, this is like watching a bizarre, uncomfortable and strangely elegant intervention between an exquisitely dressed drug counselor and a paint huffer.
If you can’t sit through all five minutes of this highly exciting interview, then read Fashionista’s highlights:
On being a spokesperson: “I don’t have to lie about liking [the fragrance].”
On other fragrances (she made this point many times–that Florabotanica doesn’t smell “fake and chemically”): They can make you “smell like an old lady and…like fake. I don’t get that from this.”
Her advice for a girl who desperately wants Florabotanica and who’s trying to convince her parents to get it for her: “Be good?”
On how it makes her feel: “Young and mature at the same time. When I wear it I feel older.”
On what movie it reminds her of (she hated this question. A lot.): “Nicolas says Alice in Wonderland.” Virginie: “But what do you think?” [pause] Kristen: “Sorry, but I’m intimidated by this question.”
On learning French: “It’s been a goal of mine, but I’ve been a little, uh, preoccupied.”
The hell are those questions? Why didn’t Virginie ask KStew if Florabotanica can be used to cover the scent of the drool droppings your side piece left on your cooter box? Because that’s a selling point.