Michael Lohan Tried To Get Lindsay Lohan Into Rehab Today, It Didn't Work
Lindsay Lohan didn't show up to work the other day and most of us snorted out a "meh," because the empty Jack Daniels bottle in her head doesn't have a grasp on time even though she has all those stolen watches lying around her house. But LiLo blowing off her job (no "Her Job" is not her nickname's dealer) worried Michael Lohan so much that he tried to stage an intervention today. Michael obviously didn't get the message that he's dead to LiLo as the sense of feeling is dead to White Oprah's nostrils.
TMZ says that Michael Lohan and his band of Captain Save-A-Hos knocked on the door of LiLo's house in Beverly Hills today, because he thinks she's on the bad shit again and wants to get her into Betty Ford. Some dude claiming to be LiLo's boyfriend (who looks like this) answered the door and told all of them to go away. When Michael refused to crawl back up into his ass, LiLo called the cops to report a trespasser. You think that by now, every police department in the country would forward every call from a Lohan to The National We Don't Give Two Effs Hotline, but they don't. The cops showed up and told Michael to go away. But before he went away, Michael called up Radar to say this:
"Lindsay needs help. She's around all the wrong people. I'm not going to stand for this anymore. She has to get better. I'm not going to watch my daughter die. A lot of people tried to stage the intervention with me. She is dating a guy named Josh Chunn and he told me, 'I feel the same way you do. I can't take it. They're destroying her life. Lindsay called the cops for trespassing but they opened the gates for us to come up… When we were leaving she threw Josh out and we picked him up in the car and he spilled the beans about everything she is doing. Her whole team has had it with her. All of them want to her to get treatment. I will keep putting pressure on her like I did before until she gets help. She is not going to get better without help and she needs treatment and help now."
Oh yes, Michael Lohan cares about Lindsay Lohan so much that he calls TMZ and Radar to tell them how much he cares about Lindsay Lohan. Caring fathers do that. I think what Michael Lohan meant to say was, "I don't want my daughter to die, because then who's go to pay the rent on my condo?!"
Aren't these Lohans exhausted from the non-stop messy, messy drama? They don't even take one day of rest from the foolery. This is what happens when everybody in a family doesn't have a job. They go to each other's houses in the middle of the day to fight. They go to the clubs together on a weeknight to fight. People with jobs ain't got time for that (copyright: Sweet Brown).
And you know who really needs an intervention? ME! I need an intervention for posting about the Lohans every damn day. Since LiLo isn't going to Betty Ford, can I take her place?
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wow. All I can say after reading that is...Hohan has a house in Beverly Hills? How is it possible for a crackie couch surfer to afford that?
Submitted by Migraineuse on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 2:53am.
lol i dont watch much tv, but i thought a reality tv show might help boost lindsay's bank account.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 12:09am.
Your life's that empty, huh? *
*This comment shall not be taken as defense of any Lohan whatsoever
*______________________________________*
I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
right about now, lindsay should be doing a reality tv show.
and i dont mean the Dina Lohan and ali lohan show, cuz that sucked.
i mean the lindsay, michael, dina and ali "im famous in siberia vogue" lohan reality tv show.
I wanna see train wreck, hot messes, glues, wigs, picking up discarded hair extensions from garbage bins outside hollywood hair salons and gluing it to her head, tape recordings, doing coke, passing out, falling over, passing out, doing meth, falling over, fighting in the limos without panties on, so when they push each other dina lohan flashes her chicoreta.
I WANT IT ALL.
He is absolutely gorgeous, but are they really dating, doesn't like it to me, found Josh bio and more photos here http://showbizdaily.net/?p=1684
Submitted by Mani6 on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 2:18pm.
LOL! Where's my team? I need a team!
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I need a team, a butler and a wife. Oh, and a personal assistant.
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Dina Lohan is a parasiting enabler. Say what you will, but at least Michael Lohan is making an effort.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Some have mentioned that Lindsay is doing some MJ type shit...to this even Michael would say:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFE10JBcZoo&feature=related
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What does Michael Lohan do for a living, besides sell photos, videos and information to Radar, TMZ and other tabloids??? He's such a sick asshole. He uses his daughter every bit as much as Dina, but he tries to be sneaky about what his true intentions are.
Lohan tweets: "I don't have a boyfriend. I have Chanel, Hermes and diamonds." *blank stares*
I thought she said Herpes.
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If the leatherfaced turtle actually gave a damn about his daughter (which he claims he does, in between negotiating with TMZ for fees for tapes he secretly records & sells), he'd find a way to involuntarily commit white oprah. She's the biggest problem blowhan has; remove her from the situation, and blowhan has no major enabler; she'll be forced to face her problems or at least a few of them. She might actually have to be responsible for something; perish the thought!
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Can they get the family discount plan at BettyFord?
Diamond, for those pictures alone they could take Ali and the brother away and have responsible family watch out for them. They'd have a better chance at not screwing up their lives too.
Right back at ya! <3 ≈❀≈❀
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hey Withy! *blows a kiss*
Yep, she looks very methy. It's sad because I was actually rooting for Ali. She seemed to be the Mother figure in that family and just got sucked into the vortex of dysfunction.
Holy crap! She looks whorendous!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Hey Diamond!! *waves*
Ali looks like a meth addict there. Just terrible. :O
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by bigorexia on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 6:36pm.
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Can't recall who asked below, why she didn't charge her dad after calling the police. It says a lot about their relationship that she had to have him removed in the first place. Her parents have no redeeming qualities, it's no surprise she's surrounded by dreck now and has made a mess of her career.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by DiamondDogs on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 7:40pm.
@ Dog,
Maybe she became a Scientologist?
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DD, $cientology wouldn't take her, she doesn't have enough money. How much won can you make from blowing Korean businessmen? (no offense to Koreans)
Doggie,
I checked out Ali's webpage and there were photos of here in NY in June of this year. (allegedly)
The girl looks like shit on a cracker.
http://ali-lohan.org/gallery/displayimage.php?album=114&pid=1922#top_dis...
DD, I don't think even the CO$ would want a Lohan unless they could get Blo and claim they "rehabilitated" her and turned her from bein an SP into a robot.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
@ Dog,
Maybe she became a Scientologist?
DD, that's the story and they're sticking to it. So why hasn't WO mentioned it? Why no pictures? Not even the Korean tabloids have anything on her. I asked the girl who does my nails. She said if Ali is in South Korea, no one knows about it.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
@ Dog
Wasn't Ali shipped off to Korea to launch her modelling career?
In any case, she is better off to be far away from this fuckery.
I think the bigger question here is where in the world is Aliana Lohan? I think she died of starvation ans drugs, and WO hid the body.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Wouldn't this be the equivalent of Adolf Hitler trying to get Joseph Mengele to stop experimenting on Jews?
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 6:24pm.
ITA, they're both horrific. Dina is 0.01 points below jerkoff, imo (but I'm going only from what MK posts, so I could be way off). And they have to be bad if I'm feeling sorry for spoiled Lilo. SMDH
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Yeah. The saddest thing is what Lindsay said during the interview she did with TMZ after Michael leaked their phone conversation. She was like, "I had an argument with my Mom and called my Dad, because who else am I going to call?" She hates her Dad and loved her Mom because they are the only two people she has in her life, as horrible as they are. She doesn't know love because she hasn't ever experienced it. That's why she has developed Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She despises herself. And even if she seems horrible, it's just sad. I feel sorry for her. Despite being blessed with natural beauty, riches and opportunities, she has still had a miserable life. Just like Michael Jackson. It's sad.
Submitted by bigorexia on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 6:13pm.
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ITA, they're both horrific. Dina is 0.01 points below jerkoff, imo (but I'm going only from what MK posts, so I could be way off). And they have to be bad if I'm feeling sorry for spoiled Lilo. SMDH
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 1:08pm.
Don't know why but I abhor Michael Lohan. I think it's his skin tight nip-revealing "I'm too sexy" mock turtlenecks, but I'm sure there are other reasons... lol
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No, I agree that Michael Lohan is horrendous. He is a violent sociopath with no regard for anyone but himself. I used to put the blame on him for Lindsay's problems.
But lately I have realised that Dina is mostly to blame. The thing that makes her so vile is the fact that everything is done so sneakily. She tries to make herself out to be some kind of amazing mother who escaped an abusive relationship. In reality, Michael just threw a book at her once. I can bet you any amount of money that she was just as abusive emotionally.
Aside from that, Dina couldn't care less about her kids, uses manipulative tactics to get what she wants ("you are dead to me"), takes no responsibility for her shitty parenting... the list goes on.
At least Michael Lohan doesn't try to hide the fact that he is an asshole. Dina makes herself out to be the next coming of Mother Theresa, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
If the Lohans' lives were a video game (lets say an XBox game called Living Lohan), Dina would be the last boss in the game. You know, the one with 8 heads that is impossible to defeat.
If Snooki and Gollum had a child, it would look like LiLo.
Submitted by mefunigirl on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 4:20pm.
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I know these people (parents) consider her their cash cow, but what kind of money will they make off her if she's dead?
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Well, there's always the residuals from "Liz and Dick." That should be enough to pay off Dina's tab at the Eager Beaver. :)
Submitted by salacious on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 3:44pm.
I'm finally convinced that LOLhan's life is actually a highly staged reality show exactly like "The Truman Show", with the exception that neither she or us the viewers are aware of it, but Dina, Michael and some mystery producers are involved in it and started working on it years ago when she was a kid.
Sal, you're onto something here.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 1:47pm.
Submitted by zomay on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 1:40pm.
The only way to fix this is to move her out of los Angeles and/or nyc and force her to realize she is not the jet setting diva her mind keeps believing she is. Make her work at Walmart 8 hours a day in Wyoming. Lol
"Look kid, I don't care if you were in Parent Trap, just point me in the direction of the diaper rash ointment."
Lol
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Good idea! Maybe not somewhere with a pharmacy though, because Crackhan will be busting into it five times a shift. Maybe something like the post office, or having to process welfare forms, or make license plates, or sweep streets.
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Not the post office, she'll give a new meaning to going "postal" in no time.
She does need manual labor. You know, the kind that when you get home your feet are on fire and you're too dam tired to even eat, or cry, you can't even muster up the energy to cry about how tired you are. Then of course, you get paid almost nothing for it.
I think it would be good for her, no time for foolery and in no time her body would actually respond to physical exercise because she is still youngish.
I know these people (parents) consider her their cash cow, but what kind of money will they make off her if she's dead? They need to keep her away from all this for a couple of years, and she can make a "comeback" in like 5, 10 years. Clean, sober, and ready to kick ass.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
How is she still alive????
I'm finally convinced that LOLhan's life is actually a highly staged reality show exactly like "The Truman Show", with the exception that neither she or us the viewers are aware of it, but Dina, Michael and some mystery producers are involved in it and started working on it years ago when she was a kid.
Surely Michael Blohan realizes that going to TMZ and Radar is not going to shame his daughter into going into rehab????
oh....wait. These people don't know the meaning of the word SHAME.
Just. Embarrassing. And sad.
She needs help. But she doesn't WANT help. Big difference. If she doesn't want to get better, it's never gonna happen. I'm not sure what it would take for her to hit the proverbial rock bottom.
Isn't the fact that the Lohans were good brokers part of the problem on Wall Street? Too many psychopaths on the job!
Submitted by Mani6 on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 2:18pm.
LOL! Where's my team? I need a team! My caffiene addiction is out of control! Gulps large quantities of coffee...shaking like a lunatic!
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You're describing my every morning Mani. Violent shakes and double vision until I have my drip in *team: TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!* LOL ;p
OnT: If he's doing it in earnest - which I doubt - he waited too long. Where was his moocher ass 5 years ago?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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LOL! Where's my team? I need a team! My caffiene addiction is out of control! Gulps large quantities of coffee...shaking like a lunatic!
...........................................
Submitted by zomay on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 1:40pm.
The only way to fix this is to move her out of los Angeles and/or nyc and force her to realize she is not the jet setting diva her mind keeps believing she is. Make her work at Walmart 8 hours a day in Wyoming. Lol
"Look kid, I don't care if you were in Parent Trap, just point me in the direction of the diaper rash ointment."
Lol
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Good idea! Maybe not somewhere with a pharmacy though, because Crackhan will be busting into it five times a shift. Maybe something like the post office, or having to process welfare forms, or make license plates, or sweep streets.
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
The only way to fix this is to move her out of los Angeles and/or nyc and force her to realize she is not the jet setting diva her mind keeps believing she is. Make her work at Walmart 8 hours a day in Wyoming. Lol
"Look kid, I don't care if you were in Parent Trap, just point me in the direction of the diaper rash ointment."
Lol
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Let me rephrase the title of this post:
"Michael Lohan made another attempt today to make headline gossip news, and it worked!"
Dog,
I have a hard time believing that Dina Lohan is very intelligent. The woman can't speak in coherent sentences.
Michael may be a little smarter and is more articulate, but he's mentally ill as well.
Submitted by bigorexia on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 12:48pm.
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Don't know why but I abhor Michael Lohan. I think it's his skin tight nip-revealing "I'm too sexy" mock turtlenecks, but I'm sure there are other reasons... lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Dog on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 12:56pm.
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Successful as brokers, shitty at life! Even if she did reinstate her license, who's going to want to do business with someone who is $1.3 million in debt?
I hear The Rockettes are hiring.
I never thought I would agree with Micky Lohan but Lindsay does need Rehab and a psych hold may do her a world of good. I think locking her ass up for at least 6 months, away from all of her family members and hangers-on could be life altering/saving for her. She supposedly did reahab b4 but never stayed away from the clubs/bars in the past or did anything to change her ways.
We need her to go into treatment so we can rehab from all her shit.
IG, yup. He lost his license for fraud or something (I honestly don't know) but she didn't. They both had very successful careers as brokers.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Lilo's boyfriend lists Blink 182 and 311 as current musical likes, and he has read Tucker Max's book. LMFAO! His "currents" stop around the early 2000s, which is about the same time Lindsay had a career, so I guess they're a match.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami