Warning: It has been reported that an F6 dust tornado has just hit your computer area and somebody nearby is chopping onions while a swarm of bees sneeze out pollen, and that’s the reason why your Mojave Desert tear ducts are suddenly filling with a strange, warm liquid that’s trickling down your cheeks. It has nothing to do with today’s Hot Sluts: the PUPPIES!!!! who kept a 10-year-old boy with Down Syndrome warm when he got lost in the woods overnight. No, you’re not experiencing your usual morning anal leakage. That’s your heart melting and slipping out of your b-hole from reading that bolded sentence.
Alabama’s 48News says that 10-year-old Kyle Camp went missing from his home in Hackelburg at around 7pm on Tuesday night. The Sheriff’s Department, a helicopter and dozens upon dozens of volunteers spent the entire night searching for him in the woods and they came up with nothing. Then the next morning, a volunteer’s dog led him to the creek where the volunteer found the dog’s puppies cuddling up against Kyle. Kyle was wet, didn’t have any shoes on and the police “think” the puppies kept him warm the entire night. Kyle was treated for scrapes and bruises at a nearby hospital and is going to be okay. Sadly, the selfless puppies later died of heat exhaustion suffered while keeping Kyle warm. Okay, I made that last part up, but still, THAT story.
How is this not the plot of a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie and how did this happen in real life? Don’t try to bring me down by saying the puppies kidnapped Kyle, dragged him into the woods, baked him by cuddling up against him and then tried to lick his skin off to get to the meat. I won’t believe that.
All those bitches from Homeward Bound, Benji and Lassie can call it a day and retire to the kennel at Shady Pines, because these hero puppies got this.
(For Jane L)