Coming Soon: CaCa Water

October 18, 2012 / Posted by:

When some hos made fun of Lady GaGa for gaining a couple of layers of chunk on her body, she started a movement for Not-So-Little Monsters to embrace themselves, or something like that, and now she’s really stretching this shit out for maximum attention by selling her own bottle of water. Some source tells the NYDN that while CaCa is dropping the chunk from her body, she wants to add some chunk to her bank account. The Haus of GaGa is currently working on a design for a bottle of “healthy drinking water” that will launch any day now. The source said this:

“Gaga has been at the center of a lot of attention over her weight increase. Losing her weight in such a short time and launching a healthy water drink may be part of a plan. Everyone at Gaga HQ is keeping very tight-lipped. There are plans being prepared for marketing strategies. We know that the water drink is due out in the near future. No one has seen prototypes of the bottle. Gaga water is something that has been in the pipeline for a few months, and now things are really gearing up to an announcement and high-profile launch.”

FINALLY, I’ll get to buy a bottle of healthy drinking water (as opposed to unhealthy drinkable water), because I’m so sick of putting my mouth under the faucet to drink healthy drinking water for free. I really want to pay for something I can get for free. Thank God for CaCa.

CaCa’s water will be extra special, though. It will have a slight taste of hydrangeas and the bottle will come pre-lubed so you can stick it in your mouth OR you can use it as a butt enema. It’s totally going to be reductive and I can’t wait to gargle my butt out with CaCa’s water.

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