If you’re looking for a baby chowder donor and the only thing you care about is if your donor has been in an episode of TOWIE or if he’s done toe sex with Katie Price, then this is the sperm bank for you. Who cares about the donor’s IQ! Who cares how tall the donor is! Who cares if the donor’s dominant gene is the asshole gene! The only thing you should care about is if the donor’s famous. Give us that celeb jizz!
The Sun points us to a new British sperm bank called Fame Daddy that’s bragging about having over 40 famous sperm donors in their catalog. They say they have an Oscar-winner, a rock star, a footballer, an aristocrat and an Olympic gold medalist. For just £15,000, ladies can get shot up with sperm from a famous ho. There’s even a quiz on the site that tells you who your dream fame daddy is (mine is Obama). Just like with any sperm bank, they won’t tell your ass who’s the owner of the A-list spunk and your kid can only find out after they turn 18 and only if the donor wants your kid to know. So for all you know, they could take your 15 thousand pounds and give you a turkey baster full of regular ole’ peon cum. But you know, it’ll be really easy to tell who your baby’s famous daddy is:
If your baby has genital warts for eyes and is always draining your booze cabinet, its daddy is a cast member from Geordie Shore.
If your baby is always crashing its toy car into walls and feels most comfortable hanging out in public bathrooms, its daddy is George Michael.
If your baby snorts your breast milk instead of drinking it and is highly allergic to soap, its daddy is Pete Doherty.
Or if you really want to get knocked up by a “celebrity” and want to save yourself 15 thousand pounds, just hang out in the nearest McDonald’s and wait for KFed to show up (it won’t take long). After he eats their entire supply of McNuggets and fries, rub your coochie in the eatin’ puddle of slobber he left on the table. BOOM! You’re pregnant with KFed’s baby and Brit Brit will have to pay you child support for the rest of your days. That’s how it’s done.