Megan Fox Is Somebody's Mom
No, Brian Austin Green's nostrils aren't inhaling two servings of Megan Fox's pregnancy farts. Brian Austin Green's facial expression dial is permanently stuck on "Snarling Bulldog."
The world's most prolific philosopher and Forever David Silver To Me never opened up their mouths to say that he put a Silver Baby in her Fox Womb, but they basically confirmed it with some completely natural and not-at-all staged pictures that weren't taken in front of a "tropical landscape" background at a Sears Portrait Studio. If anything, those pictures were TOO natural.
Well, when it came time for Brian Austin Green to lure his Silver Fox baby out of Megan Fox's uterus by singing an a capella version of "You're So Precious To Me," I didn't think they'd announce it since they are so private and all (insert rolling of eye here). I figured they'd just do what my 14-year-old cousin did. One day she told me she was just getting fat and the next day she had a newborn baby in her arms and I was like, OK! Megan didn't do that. Megan went on Facebook (via USWeekly) today to announce the birth of her first son and Brian Austin Green's second son.
We have been very lucky to have had a peaceful few weeks at home, but I would like to release this myself before others do. I gave birth to our son Noah Shannon Green on September 27th. He is healthy, happy, and perfect.
We are humbled to have the opportunity to call ourselves the parents of this beautiful soul and I am forever grateful to God for allowing me to know this kind of boundless, immaculate love.
Thanks to those of you who wish to send your positive energy and well wishes. May God bless you and your families abundantly.
Noah Shannon Green is lucky for 3 reasons:
1. Noah Shannon Green will have biceps on his eyes from constantly rolling his seeing balls while his mom mouth shits out her usual words of wisdom.
2. If Noah Shannon Green wants to be the star player of his Irish church's golf league, he already has the name for it.
3. Noah Shannon Green will inherit all of his father's hottest ensembles from the 90s. I hope Little NSG wears ensemble #6 to his first day at Harvard. (NSG's mother is the smartest woman in the world so he's skipping grade, junior and high school and going directly to graduate school!)
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Holy shit on a stick. BAG's had as much plastic tomfoolery done to his face as his wife.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 2:58pm.
Oh, god. I wish I had photos. He also had an identical twin brother. And his father was fine as FUCK! Noah could have totally been a model if he'd been taller.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
whatevers i used to have the hots for him during 90210.
yep.
enough said.
*leaves in shame*
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 8:51pm.
Ugly and pretty at the same time....that does describe SJP pretty well. I think I have a clue as to what the phenomenon is.
Tori Spelling...looks like a foot...HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOVE IT!
What a normal name? Didn't Megan get the memo she was in Hollyweird and needed to name her kid "Mongoose"?
That poor kid doesn't have a chance to have any brains.
Submitted by HomecomingQueen... on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 9:07pm.
No seriously, SJP was really pretty to me at one point. Not perfect, but very attractive.
TORI SPELLING LOOKS LIKE A FOOT.
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A FOOT????? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *pees self* You said bitch looks like A FOOT! AHAHAHAHAHA!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
No seriously, SJP was really pretty to me at one point. Not perfect, but very attractive.
TORI SPELLING LOOKS LIKE A FOOT.
Megan is beautiful. Wish she knew that.
Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 8:40pm.
Yeah, I have to agree. Tori was cute when she was about 16-20. Then, it was just ALL downhill. Mmmm....
SJP is a mystery. I had one friend describe her as a "butterface". Interesting. She was attractive in that movie with Nicolas Cage - the gambling one...not sure what it was called. My boyfriend insists that she was always horrific looking. He makes horse sounds every time he sees her. HA HA!
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As far as SJP goes, the French have a term for it in that you are both ugly and pretty at the same time. French speaking whores, chime in. It's jolie-laide, no? Yeah, I'll give that to SJP. I mean, bitch banged JFK jr. and shit, so yeah, I'll give her some ugly-pretty. Now Tori Spelling? Aw hell naw! That bitch has always been a bug eyed camel faced ho with a Neanderthal jaw. She'd be a butter face if not for those JACKED UP wonky tits. Nope, never bought the David Siliver/ Donna Martin shizz, especially after he got HWAT!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Yeah, I have to agree. Tori was cute when she was about 16-20. Then, it was just ALL downhill. Mmmm....
SJP is a mystery. I had one friend describe her as a "butterface". Interesting. She was attractive in that movie with Nicolas Cage - the gambling one...not sure what it was called. My boyfriend insists that she was always horrific looking. He makes horse sounds every time he sees her. HA HA!
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 7:51pm.
LMAO @ Tigerlilly.
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Two glasses of wine and a resin hit of the good shit= DListed proof. And do any of us whores need any other kind of proof? I say no. The kid's gonna be fug...but I'm still holding out hope for the lil' guy's thumbs.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Congrats to them!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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LMAO @ Tigerlilly.
Bizarrelife, I think Tori looked much better back then too. : )
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Bizarrelife-
Tori Spelling was indeed cuter as a young adult. Not hot, but not the horrifying mess we have today.
SJP was not a cute young adult, then she was very hot in her 30s, and then it went downhill. It was a strange window of hot for her.
Congrats. The name is nice, IMHO, and I actually miss hearing about Megan lol!
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Is it just me, or was Tori Spelling considerably more attractive as a kid? I always insist that Sarah Jessica Parker was better looking as a young adult, also. My boyfriend insists that that is NOT true.
Huh. Who knows?
Hope that kid inherited his father's thumbs...
Seriously though, that kid's got TOO much PURTY in his genes. I think when you OVER-PURTY you run the risk of doing a 180 and birthing out a fug. I have no proof of this whatsoever other than what 2 glasses wine and a resin hit from my empty, empty catnip pipe tells me but it's making perfect sense to me right now.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
It doesn't suck for her that the press didn't know about her pregnancy. That's how she wanted it. She keeps her shit tight. It CAN be done. I can't hate on Megan. Compared to Amanda Bynes, Lohan, KStew etc. etc. Megan looks like a class act!
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 5:22pm.
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SLUT???
Next thing I know you're gonna be on me cowboy style, slapping and yelling at me to get back on the stroll and make you some more money. *hint hint*
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You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
Have to admit that she is GORGEOUS!!!
And i love the fact how low-key they have kept this whole baby making business. Other stars should take a cue.
Congrats to both of them!
Meh, I wish them well. They may not be geniuses, but they seem to be a solid couple, and she got royally screwed over by Michael Bay.
This seems like a normal event. I have never seen either of them act but they appear to handle the real world with some aplomb.
That has to suck for Megan Fox that nobody even cared that she was pregnant or had a baby. No paparazzi pics, no magazine covers, nada.
Submitted by bambam on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 5:18pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 5:11pm.
*slaps bambam with dildo*
DON'T TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME!
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Hey, watch it girl. I don't play that dildo shit.
Not unless you got on patent leather thigh high fuck me boots and a one size too small leather bustier. Then you can slap me around all ya want. ;P
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Errr...this outfit leaves me with no panties.
SLUT!
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 5:11pm.
*slaps bambam with dildo*
DON'T TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME!
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Hey, watch it girl. I don't play that dildo shit.
Not unless you got on patent leather thigh high fuck me boots and a one size too small leather bustier. Then you can slap me around all ya want. ;P
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You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
*slaps bambam with dildo*
DON'T TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME!
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 4:31pm.
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oh. Not funny huh? M'k.
*slinks away, tail between legs*
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You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
omg that one of him with his shirt opened up looks so much like my brother back then lol
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
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I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK
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Poor BAG. He was supposed to be a nerd wasn't he? I don't think he realized that. All his DJ nonsense was embarrassing. Yes he is David Silver forever. Anyone on that show is their character forever. I used to watch that show with other people that hated it but we all watched it anyway. Mostly I liked Brenda because you could rolllllll your eyes so much and give them a good work-out. Donna and this nerdy dude were just sort of there. It's sad to look at thos pictures where he was trying to be sexy because he had to compete with Brandon and Dylan and his sideburn game was not up to it. I hated them all really, but for a lot of different reasons.
Remember when Marky Mark visited the set? hahaha
bambam - I do not care enough, about any show, to waste hours, if not days piecing together clips from 10 seasons to make it look like Kelly and Brandon wind up together.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 3:37pm.
I just got lost over in youtube land. The shit you find there. WOW. I found a full length episode of 90210, clips pieced together by a fan of Brandon and Kelly and how the show would have ended if they stayed together and she didn't miscarry their baby.
Just. WOW.
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Stop lying. You made it. We all know you have to be doing something else while you're goofing off at work besides hanging on the Dlist.
*ducks and runs from the room*
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You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
Wow, I just came back on and I guess everybody beat me to it. I saw that pic of BAG and MF and the first thought to my mind was there goes the smart version of Fist Brown and Rihanna.
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You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
I co-sign with the others who say BAG gives off beatin' fumes. There is just something about him that screams creepy.
He comes across as someone who's really controlling. Every time I see Megan I want to scream: "run!"
Good name. Normal. And I know two male Shannons; it's like Chris or Kyle.
And it's probably hormones, but the bit about the boundless love got me a little choked up.
didn't she mean to spell it Shannen?
I didn't even know she was pregnant.
Something kinda funny that their baby is 3 weeks old and nobody even noticed. Nobody asked "where's Megan Fox been? Has she had her baby?"
Haha. No one cared!
If my husband worked with Shannon Doherty, I sure wouldn't want my son named after that skank.
David Silver is a hot daddy. Looks like he's losing his hair.
BAG is wearing in one of the 90's thumbnails, a
"BUM" athletic sweatshirt. This is especially ironic to the UK contingent.
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
She chose a serviceable normal-yet-interesting name for a celebrity. Heck, for a modern mother in general. (Some girl on my Facebook was bragging about her kid 'Flannelly,' a name she described as 'gender neutral.' Hmm.)
Also, I do believe Shannon is a gender neutral name. At least I think so, since Shannon was the name of the male bully on "Home Movies."
Damn she really fell off if the press didn't even pick up on her giving birth!
Also that bitch barely looked 3 months pregnant and she gave birth to a full term baby? Sounds like some Beyonce type shit.
I just got lost over in youtube land. The shit you find there. WOW. I found a full length episode of 90210, clips pieced together by a fan of Brandon and Kelly and how the show would have ended if they stayed together and she didn't miscarry their baby.
Just. WOW.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 2:39pm.
Off Topic: Foofy foofy got busted for assault with a deadly weapon...HAHAHAHAHAHA!
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GG, who is Foofy foofy?
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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 2:32pm.
I didn't know Megan fox was a Chrissssssstshuuuuun!
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Lol! I thought the same thing!
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
I miss my B.U.M. Equipment sweater
I rolled my eyes and couldn't get through reading the entire thing. But good for them for two reasons 1) somewhat normal name 2) only 1 kid and not 'magical' boy/girl twins.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 10/17/2012 - 3:09pm.
90210 High School Dance. David Silver rapping:
http://youtu.be/aXGYDVKNCd4
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OMG that is fucking hilarious!
That Andrea chick always looked about 35 years old.
I bet he beats her.....
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Back from vacation? Vacation from where? The Willy Wonka factory? The Al Jolson Resort? MERCURY? MK - 8/1/12
Yeah, but did he inherit the wonky thumbs from mama? That's what I would like to know!
I'm happy for them. It's been nice seeing someone have a low-key pregnancy and a delivery that wasn't live blogged on People.com. She's annoyed me in the past flapping her yapper but at least she knows how to keep it shut about this kind of stuff.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.