Just like “professional gossip blogger,” “professional couple blogger” is an actual job that actual humans do and pays actual money. But Kate Gosselin has lost that job title, because CouponCabin.com did what humanity has been waiting years to do: they pink-slipped her ass and banished her from their presence. After spending a year blogging about coupons for Coupon Cabin, the company’s CEO Scott Kluth wrote a letter to his readers yesterday telling them in professional words approved by Human Resources that Kate is a raging bitch monster and in her severance package they gave her a 50% off coupon for a bitcherectomy.
A series of recent events have made it clear to me that Kate Gosselin and her contributions do not align with the authenticity which we set out to build almost a decade ago, and that Ms. Gosselin is simply not a good fit with the wonderful team and culture at CouponCabin.
It’s with this that I am writing to inform you of our decision to discontinue Ms. Gosselin’s feature blog on CouponCabin.com. Ms. Gosselin’s contributions garnered both positive attention and criticism, but as always, I respect and appreciate your candid opinions, which often encourage us not to lose sight of our mission — to help YOU save money.
We wish Kate, her family and her support staff all the best.
A series of recent events? I’m taking that to mean that Scott Kluth knocked his head against binders full of coupons and realized what all of us have known for centuries: Kate Gosselin is the worst and is about as pleasant as sticking your dick in a garbage disposal while buttchugging boiled battery acid. Kate probably tried to get a bunch of free crap and attacked the receptionist with a wooden spoon when the receptionist asked her what coupon she used for her Botox treatments.
Kate said on her Twitter that she’s fine and she’s keeping busy and blah blah blah blah blah blah.
The truth is, Coupon Cabin’s readers will suffer the most, because they won’t get more amazing tips like this one:
My most recent splurge was an industrial grade meat slicer. By roasting and slicing my own organic chicken and beef roasts into lunchmeat instead of buying it from the deli, I save major bucks! And the cycle repeats itself, because my splurge that helps me save on lunchmeat is the beginning of planning my next splurge. Got it? You can do it, too!
Wait, so Kate is out of a paycheck AND she has an industrial grade meat slicer? Please don’t tell me she’s suddenly selling “Asian sandwiches” from a cart in front of her house. Somebody do a head count of Kate’s child army NOW!