In The Name Of All Things Rojo, I've Made a HUGE Mistake In Moving To L.A.!
I'm in L.A. and:
- It's only 7:15 in the morning and it's already so damn warm that I can run down the side of the freeway with nothing but ass lip mittens on.
- I'm so going to make french toast out of a Double Double and chutney out of off-ramp oranges for breakfast.
- And I've already been baptized as a born again citizen of Southern California by getting flipped off and called something that starts with an "f" (I'm thinking he called me a "funtabulous rascal," but I'm pretty sure he called me a "fucking asshole") when I tried to cut a Yaris off while driving out of the airport.
So, you'd think because of all of that I'd be spitting out smoggy rainbows of happiness. Well, I was until I saw these pictures that reminded me one very, VERY, very important thing: THERE'S NO ROJO CALIENTE IN LOS ANGELES! I was so blinded by the shine of weed cards and Jack In The Box dollar tacos that I completely forgot about this. Why didn't any of you bitches remind me! Sure, I can troll the aisles of some Home Depot, find a fat chola butchie and ask her to please put an orange Tupperware bowl on her head so I won't be so gingersick, but it won't be the same. WHAT HAVE I DONE? We have to go back, Kate! We have to go back to the island!
And these pictures of Cynthia Nixon, Rojo and Little Rojo Christ strolling around NYC were taken in the middle of the night. Yes, the curly rays of sun on Little Rojo Christ's head are that illuminating.
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We would like to become a Lesbyterian, except for the fact that we hate fish!
In the Lesbo world the older, fatter and uglier you are...the more you are in demand!
Submitted by Cookie_Monster_ on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 5:26pm.
You ever notice when these two are out together it's always Rojo that has to push the kids? She's always hunched over, face in pain, pushing tons of bags, kids and carts, lookin like a bag lady.
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Aha, you took the words right outta my mouth! I know everyone here loves to coo over Rojo and Cynthia, albeit in a condescending, I-lurve-lesbians kind of way. But to me, I'm like meh. Cynthia always has that vibe like she's doing Rojo such a big favor even being with her. Her attitude is like "I'm the 'pretty one' so YOU push the stroller, ya ogre." And Rojo's like, "Ok, my goddess." I'm sure their relationship is fine, but you know, with most couples there's one person who is more grateful for the other, and it's clear who that is between these two.
I totally forgot to mention that this is the funniest post of yours I've read in a long time!
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
F Rojo when you're in the land of Chicken Cutlets, Angelyne and Bobby Trendy!! I'm so happy you moved to my hood, yay :-) Double Doubles for breakfast, lunch and dinner!!
Rojo will sure miss MK too, she actually looks bummed down. I think she senses that there's something is missing. She probably didn't know she had a stalker.
I wonder, how can MK ramble on and on about bongs and smoking pot and all those sex stories? Isn't he afraid of his abuelita finding out? Now she's within reach. Does his mother not check this site out any way?
Has Rojo lost weight? She looks slimmer here.
That kid has quite a Ron Weasley mop!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Cute Ginger Babeh. Check back in mid January MK, and see if you still feel tha same. Winter SUCKS.
You made it home MK! Of course it's hot but you have no more cold winters, you lucky beoatch! hahaha
"Little Rojo Christ" is such an adorable baby! Mammas should put a hat on those little cheeks though! lol ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Awww, ginger behbeh!
Come back to NYC where you belong MK! You can stay with me!
At least your Mama will be happy, MK....
Welcome to California... now you can watch the shitfest closer than ever before! Oh, and kick Liho in the crotch for me, K? Love ya!! Let's go have drinks!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Back from vacation? Vacation from where? The Willy Wonka factory? The Al Jolson Resort? MERCURY? MK - 8/1/12
Give yourself sometime to adjust MK...no freak out panic mode yet! I'm a little jealous that you can get a Jack in the Box taco supreme! There are no Jacks in NY!
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Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 5:36pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 1:46pm.
Sans Fards - Andrea IS annoying as HELL.
Luckily she was still a bad shot when she shot Daryl in the head! JEBUS. Everyone told her NOT to shoot, but ohhhhh trigger happy Andrea just HAS to shoot it.
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ARGH I know. If they kill him off, TWD is dead to me. Daryl's my favorite! I remember he was smokin' hot in Boondock Saints :D
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WORD!
He's my favorite! They better not kill him off. Of course I read that Meryl is going to be back this season.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 1:46pm.
Sans Fards - Andrea IS annoying as HELL.
Luckily she was still a bad shot when she shot Daryl in the head! JEBUS. Everyone told her NOT to shoot, but ohhhhh trigger happy Andrea just HAS to shoot it.
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ARGH I know. If they kill him off, TWD is dead to me. Daryl's my favorite! I remember he was smokin' hot in Boondock Saints :D
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
You ever notice when these two are out together it's always Rojo that has to push the kids? She's always hunched over, face in pain, pushing tons of bags, kids and carts, lookin like a bag lady.
And Cynthia is always care free, not holding a damn thing, almost snidely looking at Rojo like "you better push that thing faster, bitch".
I'm convinced Rojo is her nanny/cook/helper/assistant/slave instead of lover.
Michael K quoting LOST always makes my week.
Glad you made it safely MK. I'm sure there's enough ginger in that town that you won't have too many withdrawls. Be careful on the roads please. You *do* remember how to drive in LA, don't you?
No Rojo but you do get a delicious Phoebe Price as a consolation prize, how did you manuever out of LAX with that big ass shuttle taking up every living thing from Inglewood down. I mean for real, I drive by LAX off ramp on the way home and the shuttle fans were out all weekend....I hope you came back on Sunday...cauase it was a no go anywhere near LAX on Saturday. btw it is going to be in the mid-90's on Wednesday, so wear you hot sking tights on the stroll...cause it be hhoott out heeerrre!! Summer is eternal for the most part this year.
THERE'S NO ROJO CALIENTE IN LOS ANGELES!
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Just like there's no MK in NY! But I understand...at the end of the day everyone wants to go home. :(
But when I finally do get to visit Cali I have to stop at on of those orange stands. You know their produce tastes better than anyone else's. I know here on Long Island the best lobster I ever tasted can from a guy selling it out of his van on the side of the highway.
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"'Those who danced were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' We hear the music and we still think you're insane, bitch. For the record." [Michael K on Megan Fox]
California drivers are the worst! I swear.
This guy had his signal on and was turning when all of a sudden, he popped out of nowhere as I was turning. I was like, dude, you were turning! What the hell? I would've been so upset had I been involved in an accident this morning. So upset.
Like one poster said below: "Welcome back to hell."
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 2:28pm.
WHAT THE FUCK!? Why are you spilling the beans about shit that has not even happened yet or even been hinted at?
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None of this is news. This show is based on graphic novels/comic books. Only Daryl is an original character on the TV show. There are only a few divergences from the comics to the TV show. It's not a mystery who-done-it show.
Just skip my posts because I do discuss all AMC/Walking Dead gossip and leaks.
Welcome back to hell, slut.
Gooble Gobble, we accept you. It is awesome to be able to get some decent Mexican bread, right? The Panaderias are stoner heaven.
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Submitted by literarylioness on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 2:26pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 1:08pm.
I hate Lori the most! How come that bitch can't keep track of her kid? It's an fking Zombie Apocalypse! My kids would sewn to my body. She was the problem between Shane and Rick. Always whining and bitching Lori. I hope Lori becomes a walker feast, and Rick has to shoot her in the head.
Anyhoos, the chick who plays Lori, Sarah Whatever, started filming a movie last summer during the Walking Dead season 3 shooting schedule. AMC killed her quicker because she was bitching about Frank Darabot getting booted last year. Lori was actually suppose to die in the season finale, but it looks to be pretty early in now. She will make brief appearances as a figment of Rick's imagination (like the Comics) in season 4. Yes, AMC has ordered TWO more seasons of Walking Dead.
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WHAT THE FUCK!? Why are you spilling the beans about shit that has not even happened yet or even been hinted at?
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 1:08pm.
I hate Lori the most! How come that bitch can't keep track of her kid? It's an fking Zombie Apocalypse! My kids would sewn to my body. She was the problem between Shane and Rick. Always whining and bitching Lori. I hope Lori becomes a walker feast, and Rick has to shoot her in the head.
Anyhoos, the chick who plays Lori, Sarah Whatever, started filming a movie last summer during the Walking Dead season 3 shooting schedule. AMC killed her quicker because she was bitching about Frank Darabot getting booted last year. Lori was actually suppose to die in the season finale, but it looks to be pretty early in now. She will make brief appearances as a figment of Rick's imagination (like the Comics) in season 4. Yes, AMC has ordered TWO more seasons of Walking Dead.
Welcome home MK! I give it a week before ur abuelita boomerangs u w her chankla.
Little Rojo Christ is a ginger with an afro. That is so unfortunate.
LA has celebrities too.
I knew he'd miss Rojo mostest! :)
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Love you MK! Your posts never fail to make me laugh.
Now spill, did you move because of a boy?
Sans Fards - Andrea IS annoying as HELL.
Luckily she was still a bad shot when she shot Daryl in the head! JEBUS. Everyone told her NOT to shoot, but ohhhhh trigger happy Andrea just HAS to shoot it.
Submitted by lislop on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 1:42pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 12:39pm.
Off ramp oranges - even up here (7 hrs from LA) there is a dude or a fruit stand at nearly every off ramp, HWY intersection, stop sign, etc.
Those are teh BEST fruits.
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Really? I never buy that fruit, but next time I'm in town I will. Thx!
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Right from the fields. Fresh as fresh can be. Just be sure to wash them before you eat them.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 12:39pm.
Off ramp oranges - even up here (7 hrs from LA) there is a dude or a fruit stand at nearly every off ramp, HWY intersection, stop sign, etc.
Those are teh BEST fruits.
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Really? I never buy that fruit, but next time I'm in town I will. Thx!
I've moved a lot of times in my life, MK. It never goes smoothly, trust me.
The west side is the best side though I prefer SD over LA anyday. Too many people and too much pollution.
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe energy. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
Submitted by literarylioness on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 12:43pm.
The Walking Dead is the bomb! I hear Lori gets killed in episode three of this season. I can hardly wait!
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hey now....don't get my hopes up!
Okay, I don't want Lori to die. I wouldn't mind seeing Andrea kick the bucket, though. She's been nothing but annoying since episode 1 where she was whining to Dale about being left behind. STFU!
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Sorry MK that was me in the Yaris. You were right, it was" funtabulous rascal" and I was trying to catch up to you to toss you a bottle of champagne. Welcome back!
The Walking Dead is the bomb! I hear Lori gets killed in episode three of this season. I can hardly wait!
Twatty - I am LOVING Darryl! His squirrel eatin' hillbilly ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poor Carol.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 11:47am.
Submitted by kieranx: "When I first clicked on the site, I thought Rojo was tooling a garden gnome around in the stroller. I mistook the umbrella for a hat."
*dies laughing*
Thanks for the laugh. Seriously. That made my morning. Indeed the Rojo Junior does appear to be a ginger garden gnome on my phone.
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You're very welcome. Glad someone else saw it. : )
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
Off ramp oranges - even up here (7 hrs from LA) there is a dude or a fruit stand at nearly every off ramp, HWY intersection, stop sign, etc.
Those are teh BEST fruits.
Cynthia polish your boots!
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I second request for more MK misadventures in Los Angeles!
Ok, since you horz are discussing The Walking Dead, you are most likely spilling spoilers to the Season 3 opening, which I have NOT watched yet, since I spent this weekend watching season 1 & 2 and I am STILL going OMGWTF!!! and I have 3 more episodes of season 2 to finish.
Why didn't I start watching this show 2 seasons ago? Holy SHIT it's GOOD!
But Sarah, imean Lori is bugging the shit out of me.
Ass lip mittens. It is clear that there will be absolutely nothing that can top this today so I'm just packing up and going home now.
Submitted by jalynne on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 11:59am.
Submitted by I AM Afraid on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 11:30am.
Off ramp oranges???
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When yr on an off ramp exiting a fwy and some guy runs up to yr car selling bags of oranges or bunches of flowers on a Friday evening.
Zorba yah, I always thought it fucks with the mind that you can get away with a sweater at Christmas but Valentin's Day is rainy. What ever to the east coasters...lick me!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Twatty - I do think Carl might be growing up! bless his heart.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
I realized L.A. was a dream locale when I vacationed there in July 2011. I sat with my family in traffic on Sunset Blvd and in broad daylight a woman on the sidewalk proceeded to unzip her pants and squat in a flower bed situated along a building.
Submitted by I AM Afraid on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 11:30am.
Off ramp oranges???
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I think it's the ones that fall off the truck.
ubmitted by letinstar on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 11:41am.
ginger snaps!!!!
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I gotta watch that for the umphteen time! Great canadian horror film trilogy.
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Do you want a banana?
No i don't wanna
I'm laughing at the grumpy hos who are like "Wahh, Michael K moved to LA, better not get all Perez Hilton on us!" Michael's originally from LA, he's not like some Queens-born NY native. Anyway he doesn't owe anyone anything.
But as someone who's been living in LA for the past ten years, I'm kinda hating life right now. The nonstop hot weather is driving me batshit crazy. The past couple of years were so nice, but now I feel like an ant frying under a microscope. Fuck!