Breaking: RiRi Says Dumb Shit

October 15, 2012 / Posted by:

Oh Rihanna. I usually love bad girls (see la Liz, Amy Winehouse and Kate Moss) but she makes it so very, very difficult. It’s not the shitty music, or the titty baring outfits, or the seemingly low I.Q. It’s that annoying habit she has of talking. You know, expressing herself.

So in this US Magazine article, they cover Vogue’s November issue where they interview RiRi and here are just a few of the eloquent quotes that fluttered from her mouth like a delicate butterfly on a soft warm breeze. And because some of you may not speak butterfly, I took the liberty of translating for you.

“I would love to go on a date. You don’t think that? I’m a woman. A young woman, vibrant, and I love to have fun. And I have too many vaginas around me at this point.”

Translation: Chris Brown never takes me anywhere. And I’m tired of him and his friends all up in my house.

“No one asks. Trust me on that. I’m waiting for the man who’s ballsy enough to deal with me. I’m going to wait, though. You always find the wrong shit when you go looking.”

Translation: Chris never takes me anywhere. And he is all pencil frank and no beans.

About her re-kindling her friendship (read: they’re totally fucking) with Chris after her infamous 2009 beat-down, she said:

“(fans are) not on the inside. They can’t see what I see, unless they’re sitting in my point of view. I guess I’ll learn to accept that.”

Translation: You can’t see what I see, because looking through black eyes makes things kinda blurry.

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