Stupid Child Labor Laws

October 12, 2012 / Posted by:

Since we’re on the topic of things that will make you barf until you dry heave and dry heave until you pass out in a puddle of foam, it seemed natural to segue into this. It’s a touching tale about true love’s struggles to overcome incredible obstacles. Like child labor laws. Everybody say it with me, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw.

Per Radar Online, stupid California child labor laws drove a wedge between the most natural couple of all time, Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchinson, while they were filming Couples Therapy and forced them to sleep apart for the first time in their marriage. I for one am outraged and will be calling the board as soon as I finish these bong hits and the rest of this beer that ironically Courtney isn’t old enough to drink either.

Since Courtney was still 17 while they were filming, she had to endure long, cold nights away from Doug’s aging lesbian face while all the other couples got to sleep together. She had to leave her own home and make sad sexy lizard faces to her hotel room mirror all alone while her 51 year old husband stared longingly out the window with her best boa and her lucite heels on. Life is so cruel sometimes.

I sure hope that therapy worked for them, because in a world with no more Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman love, I just couldn’t go on if they fall apart too.

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