Blanket Jackson was happily sitting on top of his ivory satin bedspread, combing his ebony unicorn mane with a tortoise comb when his auntie Detective La Toya rudely interrupted his beauty time by dragging him to some stupid event in Beverly Hills last night. The same event that Lindsay Lohan was at. Yeah, Blanket Jackson was not born out of an oyster blessed by Michael Jackson to mingle with common trash like Blohan. Even Detective La Toya’s glowing halo of a face couldn’t melt away Blanket’s mean mug. Blanket Jackson is not here for any of this foolishness.
As Detective La Toya, Prince Michael I, Paris Jackson and model Monica Gabor smiled for the paps, Blanket let it be known that he would rather be playing a game of patty cake with Grandpa Joe than deal with this mess. Maybe Michael Jackson was on to something when he covered up his kids’ faces with those fucked up butterfly masks. Because look at them now, posing at the launch party for some stupid ass energy drink that probably tastes like urethra syrup. How dreadful.
That being said, Blanket Jackson’s “Screw this shit!” face is taking me higher.