It’s Always That Work Bitch

You know that sick, insecure feeling you get when you roll up to your piece’s job (or drive thru, whatever) and get a look at their hotter than you coworker? And there they are, doing teamwork shit and laughing, and being way too close to each other you’re trying to wish that bitch away like the kid in Creepshow? And then you break up later and he starts humping on said piece, or maybe they’d been boning in the walk in cooler all along? Well US says that Demi Moore is just like us, except with a lot more money and a lot less sense.

An insider named Demi tells US Magazine that Demi has the sads that her almost ex Ashton Kutcher and his old 70’s Show castmate Mila Kunis are doing it. DUH. I’d like to throw some shade, but I kind of feel sorry for her ass. It has to suck to work so hard tweeting bikini pics of yourself, getting fillers, doing chicken dances and all that only to have to hand your hubby over to THAT SHADY WORK BITCH in the end. I just hope she can put it in perspective, realize that this is fucking KELSO we’re talking about and just be glad that Mila took that stank trash to the curb for her.

Demi needs to throw on her best fuck me pumps, down a couple of Red Bulls, huff a can of whipped cream and get her sad ass back on the stroll. As all old hoes know, the best way to get over a piece is to get under a new one.