Kris Jenner Is A Shameless Whore, Water Is Wet
Get your overstuffed ass out to pasture OLD kash kow Kim, there's a new boo in Kris Jenner's life. At least, Kris would love for there to be... a new Honey Boo Boo to be more specific. Just a couple of weeks ago Kris was turning her overly manicured nose up and shame, shame, shame on you-ing at Mama June for her child whoring ways and for being "classless". I'll wait a minute for the laughter to subside.
Now Kris wants to manage Honey Boo Boo. Mmmmhmmm.
So Hollywood Life has the scoop on Kris's amazing turnaround, based solely on her love for children and not at all by the realization that she's thisclose to being ousted by some 7 year old hillbilly beauty pageant princess. And if you can't get richer by pimping your own kids any more, why not get richer by pimping your replacement?? You have to slow clap for Kris's dedication to whoring and her complete lack of dignity and self respect. Bitch is on her game.
At this point, Kris is just extending the hand(cuff) and Mama June hasn't talked to her about it. Please Universe, if this meeting ever does occur, let Mama June have one of her famous gas attacks, and let her burp and fart and laugh in Kris's begging face with a mouthful of half chewed sketti as Honey Boo Boo snaps TWO Z's!!!! And let the cameras capture every delicious second of it. AMEN.
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I think we're giving Mama June a bit too much credit here. Maybe at the start of the honey boo boo craze she would have told PMK where to stick it; but methinks after the checks are rolling in from this season and she can stop dumpster diving for furniture and sticking her kid on the corner to scream at truckers to buy lemonade, the greed monster will creep up and she may lower her standards.
I hope I am wrong, because I want all the kardashians to fade into oblivion but I guess we'll see
red bottom shoes sale
This flip flop from Jenner regarding Honey Boo Boo doesnt look good. It makes the pimp hand look weak and confused... actually its probably wrinkled, warped and covered in some over priced useless "high end" cream. But I thought Kris still had Kylie and Kendall. Giving up so soon?
My family isnt perfect but I thank God every time for them whenever I read something about Kum Kardashian or Lindsay Lohan.
Hopefully Mama June will tell Kris Jenner to shove her offer up her crack.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 10:19pm.
LMFAO, If I were Mama June I would not only squash the Lardassians with my giant split hoof but I'd build a Hillbilly clothing empire and open up shop right beside every singe one of the Lardassians business ventures. I'd have pigs in overalls running down Rodeo Drive and drive around town in Jedd Clampett's truck. Everywhere the Lardassians went I'd bring the entire Hillbilly clan to follow them around and steal the spotlight from them.
When Kim went out for a casual "walk" n her white bikini I'd dress up Honey boo boo in the exact same outfit. As a matter of fact whatever Kim wore I'd hand sew a version of it and have Honey go and model it.
OMG!! SO MANY YAAAAASSSSSSSSS'S, that would be sooo fuckin dope!! I would watch every single honey boo boo episode haha
GGGAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! HATE HATE HATE HATE THAT KUNT! (Jenner not June) I feel like Silky Johnston from the playa hatas ball when he says I hate you and I hope all the bad things in life happen to you and nobody else but you. Fuck PMK, I really hope June knows better than to get involved in any way shape or form with a lardassian/jenner.
Submitted by JudyT on Fri, 10/12/2012 - 10:16am.
As a watcher of Honey Boo Boo, I am offended that you would think I would mate with a PMK watcher. How dare you, *wretch.*
Mama Kris should just be a fucking hog wrangler...she's been doing the job her whole life anyway.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
Where is everyone?!
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
LEAVE THE BOO BOO'S ALONE, YOU FILTHY BITCH!
(Sweetass LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO great post, honey boo boo)
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
Sweetas, between this post and the Liz post, you're en fuego, gurl.
When our country is taken over by "The Walking Dead" it won't be from some virus. It will be all the viewers of the Kuntrashions and Honey Bo Bo uniting, mating and ending the human race as we knew it. Hey, great idea for a new show.
@get serious....pimpager....lmao! truer words have never been spoken.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
What's more disgusting than PMK's greed? Mama June's teef. You know she doesn't floss or brush 'em regularly. ::trying not to toss my cookies thinking of the stench of her breaf::
I always laugh at Joel calling her the Human Thumb....
When I see these two hos, I think of the dumbing down of America accelerating wharp speed. It is scary that that these two are in shows that are getting viewers.
Who are these people or to be more precise, these people are not people.
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Do you want a banana?
No i don't wanna
Look at how much everyone loves and adores my daughter! I can do the same for your fat as, I mean FABULOUS family!
Our make up team arrives at 4am every day so we are ready to leave the house by 9am. I'll make sure your make up team arrives to your house by 2am since you guys have so much more area to cover.
After you guys hog down your breakfast Bruce will pick you up in his car.. I'll follow behind in my car.. And we will go shopping for a new boyfriend for HBBC. Bring lots of candy to bribe him with.. Kash doesn't work with the little fuckers.
Get your beauty rest.. You need a lot of it! *air kisses only. Ever*
~PMK
Submitted by Get Serious: "What pimpager kris apparently doesn't understand is simple folk (for lack of a better term) can smell insincerity a mile off & avoid people like her as though they've got the plague. Kris STINKS of insincerity..."
THIS.
I was trying to articulate this, but you did it so nicely!
Also, she has my MIL's inability to comprehend that not everyone wants to live the way she does.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Fri, 10/12/2012 - 1:14am.
i hope mama june takes a shit, puts it in one of those air tight containers that you buy at a housewife's container party (YES i go to those), and then sends it to kris.
cuz thats what kris deserves.
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LOL.
Sounds like PMK realizes that Kanye's taken Kim from the dark side to the darker side. She's grasping at straws now. Soon will be a day when the Kardashians are as irrelevant as pay phones.
LMAO!! Funny stuff Sweetas!! MK might be running skeered from the great job you're doing!! Keep up the good work!!!
On another note, did you notice Blimp Mama June's teeth look similar to Pimp Mama's????
Since when is PMK a manager... to anyone not her family?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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lmao, this bitch would
i hope mama june takes a shit, puts it in one of those air tight containers that you buy at a housewife's container party (YES i go to those), and then sends it to kris.
cuz thats what kris deserves.
Great job with the posts, Sweetas! They're fucking hilarious!!!!
She def needs a PR intervention
http://m.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/10/kardashian-turns-video-kris-...
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Just like me after reading about Kim's love for Gay Fish, her tits are sullen, over it and slowly falling to the floor out of boredom. - MK
Mama June has made it clear that she's not interested in being pimped out by anyone. That synthetic mess of a dollar-groveler Kris J. should just stick with her vacuous, untalented daughters (and Khloe) to fund her retirment accounts.
You have to slow clap for Kris's dedication to whoring and her complete lack of dignity and self respect. Bitch is on her game.
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Oh pleeeze.... bitch is out of her game, as are all her Kuntrashian children. Society is done with that shitfest.... in 1 - 2 - now!
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Back from vacation? Vacation from where? The Willy Wonka factory? The Al Jolson Resort? MERCURY? MK - 8/1/12
What pimpager kris apparently doesn't understand is simple folk (for lack of a better term) can smell insincerity a mile off & avoid people like her as though they've got the plague. Kris STINKS of insincerity; she doesn't give a crap about this family or the kids (particularly since she's already ripped them bigtime in the press, calling Mama June "classless"; hilarious coming from a woman who exploited her own daughter getting pissed on & taking a load in the face on tape); all she smells is a paycheck, and that's not going to sit right with Mama June. She's got about as much chance of representing them as Honey Boo Boo chile' has of winning a kids beauty contest...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
I've been trying really, *really* hard lately to be more positive and shit (it is SO completely unnatural to me, ugh) but I'm just going to come right out and say that I wish every single one of the Kardashians/Jenners would just fucking die in a fire already. They are the cancerous polyps on the anus of society.
I'm more than happy to go to hell for saying that, so long as I don't have to see/hear any Kardashians while there. It's probably a safe bet that even Satan can't stand the clan, excuse me, Klan, of assholes.
Mama Kris wouldn't make it 10 mins in Mama June's house. And June could fancify the sketti by putting Cheez Wiz on top for the special company.
Anyone watching the debate? What the fuck was Biden smoking? He is giggling like a fucking school girl. I predicted that this would be the special olympics of debating and I, apparently was right. They both aggressively suck.
The fact that these fucking idiots actually have an audience is what is wrong with this country. Proud to say I would rather watch a Gilligan's Island marathon for 12 hours than watch 20 seconds of either of these "families" fuckery.
Team White Trash! Fuck off, Kris. I'm sorry but you'll have to wait a few more years until your grandchild's first sex tape.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
There is an uncanny resemblance between Mama June and PMK.
PMK gives me the vomz worse than looking at Mama June's massive neck waddle.
What a piece of shit. I hope one day Kris' family realizes what a lowlife their mother is.
Hah, she went from turning her nose up in shame to turning her nose up into June's massive asscrack. No dignity whasoever.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
Mama better bitch slap Kris with her chins.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
She will be getting Boo Boo Child sex tapes, Lipo, and plastic surgery by the age of 7 sick bitch that she is (I am talking about Pimp Mamma not Honey Boo Boo )
I knew the comments on this post were going to be good.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Ugh, this shameless leech. Already killed the souls of her own daughters, and now wants to spread her disease to another. Don't do it mama June!!
Mama June, you in danger girl!
"the only thing his face should host is a fist" MK
Momma June Sex tape? I am sure they guys will be all over it.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
OMG does this mean what I think it means?
Mama June sex tape?
oooooooo man.
LOL @ "half chewed sketti"
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
bwahaha everyone s on top form in this post! sweetas has improved too!
TEAM REDNECKOGNAAAHZ
Twins separated at birff?
It's a good thing MK is flying into SoCal today! We've got major thunderstorms and lightening going on right now....and that's saying A LOT for us.
Our electricity is a'flickering!
OT: as much as I cannot stand PMK, I have to tip my hat to her game.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
It's getting harder to watch "Three's Company" in syndication since Pimp Mama is morphing into "Lana Shields" era Joyce de Witt.
PMK wouldn't last a nanoJunesecond in Georgia hill country. Ain't nothin' to pimp there but the possums (but I'm sure she'd find a way).