Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Little Green Man who's a bossy bitch and tells drivers to slow down, because children are playing in the street or something.
Up until yesterday, I didn't know the Little Green Man existed until I saw paparazzi pictures of him hanging out in front of White Oprah's den of dysfunctional destruction yesterday. I figured that since White Oprah is always high on who knows what, she constantly sees Little Green Men running around and feels sad when the other Lohan brats shake their heads "no" after she asks them if they see Little Green Men too. So she bought this Little Green Man so they can all see a Little Green Man together like a family. But no, the Little Green Man is in suburban neighborhoods everywhere and is always warning speeders to slow down before a screaming kid gets trapped in their front grill.
It's funny that the Lohans have one since Lindsay Lohan doesn't pay attention to actual traffic signs let alone traffic signs bought at Toys 'R Us. If anything, that neighborhood should have a little Red Man that has the words "RUUUUUN, CHILDREN, RUUUUUN" written on it, because at any moment that crazy bitch could take a kid out with her leased Porsche.
And I don't even want to know the things a drunken and coked up White Oprah has done to that Little Green Man's hand. Thank XENU he's green or we'd probably see the evidence.
via E!
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red bottom shoes sale
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 1:01pm.
Our HOA is private roads and we've always had speed bumps, one every quarter mile I think. And the speed limit has always been 10mph. The speed bumps are like launching ramps very large and easy to speed over. So recently the HOA put in 25 more speed bumps. so in between every 1/4 mile lump is a small, tall road hazard of a bump you have to come to a complete stop in order to slowly go over without damaging your fucking car. I think they're called "3mph speed bumps". Makes me STABBY. Even rolling over them at .5mph your entire body is rocked and jarred. Now those fuckers want to put 12 more of those in. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you (the HOA) going to pay for the maintenance on my vehicle?
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Ugh! This! My HOA didn't have those speed bumps when i moved in but installed them soon after. I had to move because of them. Even when I was literally going slower than walking speed It would still move the car all over. I had 2 small children who would fall asleep durinig car rides but of course these speed bumps (AKA CAR LAUNCHERS) would wake them up. FML! It's so ridiculous.
The crazy bitch with 5 kids in a 2 bedroom townhouse 3 doors down from me has one of these fuckers in her front yard. Her nasty urchins are always in the street, unsupervised, riding their bikes everywhere but where they should be. Any time I see them out there I speed up. Little fuckers. If I knew I wouldn't get caught I'd throw green turtle man in the middle of the busy road our backyards are up against, hoping that thing gets destroyed. I want to cut its head off one day, or deface it somehow.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 10:29am.
I'd much prefer a tongue-in-cheek "Slow Children Are Playing" sign.
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There's a Church not far from where I go to school at there is a sign on the side of the church that reads "Slow Church" next to the highway, it always cracks me up.
I've seen the little green person before, I always thought it was a turtle, and just someone's idea of a tacky yard decoration. Idk.
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 1:23pm.
Rande, not so! I do not have one of those obnoxious little decals on my family truckster. TYVM.
I hate those "look at me" signs that say In Memory of Bubba. Why do people feel that they MUST show off who croaked and how many brats they have and tally of dogs/cats? WHO GIVES A FUCK!
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GG I like to put little turds stickers on my back window just to let people know how many bowel movements I've had so far this week.
All of these comments have me rolling in a very quiet room, lol.
This is totally a turtle, right guys? Because they want you to slow down like a turtle. Please don't tell me I've been wrong about something I've seen every day for the last 20 or so years. IT'S A DANG TURTLE! (Except I never did understand why he wore a hat...)
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 1:31pm.
Yup. I always imagine it's some violent end, like a car crash or shooting or something. I mean, you never see those signs on a BMW 7-series.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 10/11/2012 -
1:25pm.
The In Memory Of ARE sad. I saw one yesterday - some girl 1990 - 2008. Around the same age as my daughter... can't imagine.
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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
*side-eyes Rande*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 1:23pm.
Liah. Yours has your cats and turtles on it, too.
Those "In Memory" signs are sad. The departed is always like 21.
Rande, not so! I do not have one of those obnoxious little decals on my family truckster. TYVM.
I hate those "look at me" signs that say In Memory of Bubba. Why do people feel that they MUST show off who croaked and how many brats they have and tally of dogs/cats? WHO GIVES A FUCK!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 1:08pm.
Yea, they have that in the South, also. However, we (and it may be everywhere IDK) have those rednecks that have bumper stickers that read "My kid beat the shit out of your honor roll kid"... yea, be all you can be.
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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
This thing is an icon at this festival I go to, known as Slo Mo.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 1:08pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 12:50pm.
LOL! I don't know if this is universal, but in CA all the SUVs and minivans have cartoonish profiles of the family on the rear window: dad (if one), mom, kids, pets... It gets silly at times.
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Where I work we sell smart ass versions of those, with the family members giving the finger, or mooning. The plain ones are ridiculous, nobody gives a shit about your family.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 12:50pm.
LOL! I don't know if this is universal, but in CA all the SUVs and minivans have cartoonish profiles of the family on the rear window: dad (if one), mom, kids, pets... It gets silly at times.
There was a street a few blocks from where I used to live that was ALWAYS busy... it was another one of those "cut-thru" streets to bypass heavier traffic on the main roads... anyhow, there was this house on a corner that always had 3 or 4 little shithead boys out playing in the front... they'd ride their bikes out in front of cars, throw rocks at cars, and RAMP THEIR GO-CART IN TO ONCOMING TRAFFIC... and you could tell they were doing it on purpose... I use to LOLOLLL only because it reminded me of my horrible adolescent ways when I was their age... funny part was the fucking parents would sit no the front porch not saying a word!!! I can't tell you how many people would stop and get out yelling at the parents 'GET YOUR FUCKING KIDS OUTTA THE ROAD, BITCH!' or like when fridge-lover yelled I'MA RUN OVER Y'ALLS LIL BAD ASSES ONE DAY!!
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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Our HOA is private roads and we've always had speed bumps, one every quarter mile I think. And the speed limit has always been 10mph. The speed bumps are like launching ramps very large and easy to speed over. So recently the HOA put in 25 more speed bumps. so in between every 1/4 mile lump is a small, tall road hazard of a bump you have to come to a complete stop in order to slowly go over without damaging your fucking car. I think they're called "3mph speed bumps". Makes me STABBY. Even rolling over them at .5mph your entire body is rocked and jarred. Now those fuckers want to put 12 more of those in. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you (the HOA) going to pay for the maintenance on my vehicle?
M.E., GG, that is one of my pet peeves....the next street over from where I grew up had those "SLOW DOWN, FOR THE CHILDREN!" signs all over the place. That block was really annoying. They were super-chummy with each other, would always have loud ass block parties, and then get all up in your shit if they thought you were making too much noise at a barbeque. So my mom used to intentionally speed up at the mom's who would yell at her to slow down! hahahaha.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 12:47pm.
lololllllol OH YOU HAVE A BABY ON BOARD WELL MY GOODNESS I WILL SHOOT AT THE NEXT PASSERBY
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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Lmfao!
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
It's as dumb as those "Baby on Board" signs. Like, I was planning on running drunkenly into the back of your car, right where the backwards car seat is. Then I saw your sign and thought twice.
ME - I just run their shit over. If they were stupid enough to leave it there then they much be wealthy enough to buy another one. :D Yes... I am the original bitch on wheels.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I just blast my horn at the little urchins and flip off the moms as I go past. My kids knew better - they played in OUR BACK YARD!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Mickey, I too have always thought this little guy was a turtle. Even after I read the post I assumed it was a turtle. It wasn't until after I read your comment did I realize this was, in fact, not a turtle.
Maybe I need one that reads, "Slow AtomicCity at play".
Yes, ma'am, caution everyone to slow down (10MPH zone anyway) for your crotch fruit who have NO CLUE about traffic or how to GTFO of the way when they see a car coming, but leave their bikes, scooters, hand balls, helmets, etc out in the road for us to have to swerve around in order to not run their shit over.
M.E. I have that same situation on my "shortcut" to work. These people raised hell until the speed limit was lowered to 10 MPH.
They think this gives them the licence to keep their crap all over the road and treat it like a fucking playground.
the lady with 5 kids down the street has TWO of these dudes. She put one on either side of the road at the stop sign in front of her house.
Yes, ma'am, caution everyone to slow down (10MPH zone anyway) for your crotch fruit who have NO CLUE about traffic or how to GTFO of the way when they see a car coming, but leave their bikes, scooters, hand balls, helmets, etc out in the road for us to have to swerve around in order to not run their shit over.
UGH! I can't with people.
I actually have this Hot Slut in my driveway!!!! My daughter calls him the "green man" (yeah yeah yeah - I know - she's probably color blind).
We have a long twisty driveway so I have it at the bend so my husband's asshole friends don't plow down my kid. And yes, they have hit it. And a tree. Fucking drunk assholes.
Maybe instead of "instructing" us on how to drive, you should "instruct" your crotch fruit to not be so fucktarded as to play in oncoming traffic.
Either way I'd still try to plow 'em down.
LMAO @ >!!!!!!!
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 11:03am.
lol *does not have friends named Betty or Suzie* * does not play Bingo eeeethur* :p
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Submitted by aradia07 on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 10:37am.
HA HA- Close to where I lived several years ago, a similar sign was posted "Slow Children at Play". Got me every time.
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That's it! I think I'm going to put one of those in my front yard after the winter but only as a joke. I also have a "no dumping" sign in the half bath off the kitchen so nobody blows it up while I'm cooking.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
I've never seen one of these but it looks like something I'd run over when I'm HAMMERED!
*aaaaasssshooooole throws empty bottle out window and parks car on top of the paper boy*
Ugh, every other house in my development has one of these things at the end of their driveway. Here's an idea keep your damn kids off the street....bah humbug!!
Submitted by guest on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 10:57am.
The end school zone signs are always really small!!! So if u don't notice them ur going 20 mph without being on the phone for longer than necessary.
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GOD>FORBID>WE>DON'T>CATCH>UP>WITH>BETTY>OR>SUZIE>ON
WHO>THE>LUCKY>WINNERS>WERE>AT>BINGO>LAST>NIGHT>!!
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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
The end school zone signs are always really small!!! So if u don't notice them ur going 20 mph without being on the phone for longer than necessary.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Oops, I always thought it was a turtle.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 10:29am.
I'd much prefer a tongue-in-cheek "Slow Children Are Playing" sign.
HA HA- Close to where I lived several years ago, a similar sign was posted "Slow Children at Play". Got me every time.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 10:31am.
I just drove to work through 2 school zones and was thinking the speed limits are ridiculously slow. Just makes you mad at the childruns.
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IKR? Children need to run faster.
Man after I logged in I couldn't find this post, and thought I was seeing little green men too. I feel your pain WO.
So won't people be destracted by looking at the little green men? Isn't that the opposite of what we want?
When I was married to whore-o numero el dos I got sick of these punk ass people flying up and down our street (it was used to cut through from one main road to another, kind of a shortcut ANYHOW) so I bought a can of neon green, reflective spray paint and painted the illusion of a speed bump right in front of our house... Funny as shit seeing these people hauling ass and then ERRRRRRRRRK!! hahahahaha slow down, fucker.
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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
I just drove to work through 2 school zones and was thinking the speed limits are ridiculously slow. Just makes you mad at the childruns.
I'd much prefer a tongue-in-cheek "Slow Children Are Playing" sign.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
I always want to speed up when I see these things.
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"Look at this lamb, I'm going to make condoms out of it so that you can ride me until your pussy says 'baaaaaah.'"
~ASkars as channeled by Michael K
Is this a thing?
If some asshole is texting while driving, they're not gonna see this bitch, either. Nice try, though.