Somewhere in Miami, Kim Kardashian is loudly bawling while Pimp Mama Kris holds a vial under her face, because Kim’s tears are made of 99% Botox and PMK isn’t going to waste ’em! (Later, PMK will softly cackle while injecting her daughter’s tears into her own forehead.) Kim is all feeling sorry for her stupid ass self, because her old piece Reggie Bush humped a baby into his new piece Lilit Avagyan. Reggie, who has sexed on so many Armenian girls that his dick should be the key to the City of Glendale, called into the Paul and Young Ron Morning Show today to say that he’s so happy to be a father and this child is a gift (a gift to Lilit’s checking account!) and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. What I think Reggie meant to say is that he’s so happy about writing a child support check each month. That really warms his heart.
Of course, Kim is crying her plastic face off over this, because she thinks she’s the one who should be having a baby with Reggie Bush even though Reggie Bush would rather stick his peen in a shark’s mouth than have a kid with a Kartrashian. Some source said this to Radar about Kim having the sads over Reggie knocking up some other ’round the way ho:
“Kim is very upset that there are reports out there Reggie has gotten Lilit pregnant. Kim had pressured Reggie for a very long time to get married while they were together because she wanted to have a family with him. Reggie just thought that Kim placed too much of a priority on her fame and reality television though and he wanted none of it. Reggie was a part of the Kardashian family for over five years and deep down Kim has always held out hope that they would end up together, even though she married Kris Humphries. She feels it is a slap in the face that Reggie would consider having a baby with this woman when he wouldn’t with her.”
Oh, please. Kim will snap out of it as soon as Pimp Mama Kris waves her “happy place” (a hundred dollar bill wrapped around a black dildo) at her. Then Kim will want every party involved to pay. Remember how Kim sued Old Navy for using a look-alike? Well, Kim is going to sue that Lilit trick for copyright infringement for having the same face as her. Kim is going to sue Reggie Bush, because I’m sure there’s legal papers somewhere stating that she owns half of his sperm. Then when that baby is born, Kim’s going to sue it for having a face that sort of looks like hers. Heffa is going to sue everybody!
And here’s that heffa in Miami with Kanye West. I’m starting to think that Kanye is only with Kim to make her look like a bigger fool than she already is, because he totally picked out those stupid ass sunglasses.