Here’s Brad Pitt looking like a dandy Southern sugar daddy who’s about to strangle his Puerto Rican twink lover with his gold robe belt for fucking the pool boy in the backyard cabana. This is some piping hot Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil realness and it’s made my nipple slits spit out drops of sweet tea. Blame it on the eyebrows above his lip.
Brad Pitt had a pretty boring conversation with Guy Ritchie for Interview Magazine, but what’s really selling this mess is him playing dress up. Brad dressed up as a gay mobster (or Johnny Hallyday), Billy Ray Cyrus and a constipated stoner rasta. Rasta Brad is what Brad would naturally look like if Angie Jo didn’t make the child army hold him down while she takes a FURminator and a whole bottle of shampoo to his greasy mop.
I’ve never really noticed this before, but when you get real close up to Brad’s face his skin kind of looks like hardened terra cotta clay covered with clumpy foundation. Smooth it out, girl, smooth it out.