Kim Kartrashian Is Already Planning Her Next Wedding

October 8, 2012 / Posted by:

Kim Kardashian is still legally married to Amoukar from Quest For Fire and she just barely had her diamond wedding ring turned into hers and hers anal lips rings for her and Kanye Kardashian (nee West), but she’s already thinking about how she wants to keep fisting the sanctity marriage in the butt without lube. Tatler Magazine (via Zap2it) committed a blasphemous sin and THE QUEEN should order for all of their heads on a Dixie paper plate, because they interviewed Pimp Mama Kris’ prized pig for the same issue that Prince Hot Ginge is on the cover of. That’s like opening an Almond Roca and finding a piece of dried caca inside. I hate them for that, but I hate myself more for copy + pasting what came out of Kim’s talk hole about her next wedding and Kanye:

“It had always been my dream to have a big wedding, and when people said that I’d made it over the top for the show, that was just me: I am over the top. But the next time, I want to do it on an island with just my friends and family and that’s it.

He’s been there through so many different stages of my life and before I was famous, so this relationship is a different thing entirely. It’s good to be aware that he definitely doesn’t want anything from me too, because he understands the business. I can’t even think about being with anyone else than the man I’m with.”

“…with just my friends and family and three crews from E! and the dozens of vendors who are giving me free crap to whore out on my stupid piece of trash and Life & Style Magazine and the paparazzi and officials from the Illuminati who will be there to punch my ‘Marry 5 Times for No Reason, Get 1 Free Bottle In The VIP Section In Hell’ card.” This trash heap heffa is the last bitch on this planet who should get married, but who am I to stand in the way of fame whore love? If Kim wants to make Kanye a wife on an island somewhere, E! should make her dreams come true by booking her on Oceanic Flight 815. I know, that was wrong of me. Even the Smoke Monster doesn’t deserve to be around trash like that.

Here’s Kim strolling around Miami the other day in an orange bed sheet. Just like me after reading about Kim’s love for Gay Fish, her tits are sullen, over it and slowly falling to the floor out of boredom.

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