I used to think that the chick from Joan of Arcadia (better known as the daughter of Riff from West Side Fucking Story) and Tobias from Arrested Development were about as random as Dionne from Clueless endorsing Mitt Romney or Nancy Reagan getting into a staring contest with a goose made out of Jell-O. But then when Amber Tamblyn trolled the hell out of Tyrese, they suddenly made sense to me. They’re that couple who always makes your eyes roll into the next table when they make inside jokes during dinner and I bet when Amber gives David Cross the mustache during oral love, he puts his glasses on and starts talking like Ned Flanders. THAT couple.
Well, People says last night, THAT couple promised to love, cherish and always make Ned Flanders voices during coochie eating. 29-year-old Amber Tamblyn married 48-year-old David Cross after being together for around 3 years. This is both of their first times at trying to tame the rabid bitch that is marriage. Yo La Tengo played at their wedding and director Lance Bangs (that’s a hot name) Instagram’d this picture of Amber snorting up David’s neck sweat while they slow danced in front of a stage decorated with a duvet cover.
People basically has zero details in case you cared about details, but I think the only thing any of us should care about is whether or not David Cross wore cut-offs. Oh, and whether or not he snorted a drop of the bad shit under Amber’s dress during the ceremony.