Bless Your Eyes With Some Angelyne

October 7, 2012 / Posted by:

The sole reason for why I’m moving back to Los Angeles put the taste of strawberry Pop Rocks and half-melted watermelon Jolly Ranchers in mouths of those lucky to be around her when she spread her legs and poured out the glamour for an EXCLUSIVE cover photo shoot that I’m assuming is for French Vogue (or Harper’s Bazaar Fraggle Rock, or a special edition of the Pennysaver marketed only to raver Gremlins, or for a billboard that will be seen on the highway to Heaven). Angelyne really is an expert multi-tasker and serious business woman, because when she wasn’t posting her exquisitely drawn brows off in the parking lot of a Coffee Bean, she sold autographed t-shirts from the trunk of her Corvette to her loyal fan.

The paps also managed to capture the magical and enchanting moment when Lil’ Miss Magic Hair’s grandma gave us an accidental crotch shot, and no, she’s not wearing pantyhose. Angelyne just naturally has the crotch of a pantyhose doll. Oh, and you can’t tell from these pictures, but both Courtney Stodden and Shauna Sand were off camera worshiping at the sight of the foremother of exquisite glamour.

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