You know, I don’t even know if Xtina’s cover for her new album Lotus was created in Photoshop. This looks more like it was made by a dozen t-shirt airbrushers and graffiti artists whose best work can be found on the side of a van. If you painted Xtina’s hair brown, threw a crown of thorns on her head and spray painted a cross in back of her, she’d look like Hay-Soos Chris-Toe himself as seen on the van of a traveling preacher. If you stare at it long enough, you can almost hear the traveling preacher scream “REPENT! REPENT” out of a blow horn while hanging out of the driver’s window.
This also looks like the Birth of Venus if Venus was birthed out of a cheap perfume bottle in the beauty section of a Rite-Aid. If Drunktina really wanted to keep it real, that cover would’ve shown her rising out of a broken champagne bottle or a never-ending pasta bowl from the Olive Garden.
I still don’t hate it, though. It’s hard to hate on a tacky disaster that is obviously paying homage to one of the greatest works of art from 2009: Brooke Hogan’s album cover.