Open Post: Hosted By Xtina's Latest Photoshopped Masterpiece
You know, I don't even know if Xtina's cover for her new album Lotus was created in Photoshop. This looks more like it was made by a dozen t-shirt airbrushers and graffiti artists whose best work can be found on the side of a van. If you painted Xtina's hair brown, threw a crown of thorns on her head and spray painted a cross in back of her, she'd look like Hay-Soos Chris-Toe himself as seen on the van of a traveling preacher. If you stare at it long enough, you can almost hear the traveling preacher scream "REPENT! REPENT" out of a blow horn while hanging out of the driver's window.
This also looks like the Birth of Venus if Venus was birthed out of a cheap perfume bottle in the beauty section of a Rite-Aid. If Drunktina really wanted to keep it real, that cover would've shown her rising out of a broken champagne bottle or a never-ending pasta bowl from the Olive Garden.
I still don't hate it, though. It's hard to hate on a tacky disaster that is obviously paying homage to one of the greatest works of art from 2009: Brooke Hogan's album cover.
via @TheRealXtina
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Submitted by beakers bitch on Sat, 10/06/2012 - 9:03pm
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I don't get it!! God bless 'em though, now all three can go out and buy new ball gags...
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...the end
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 7:06pm.
Whoa, that was a twist. Glad to hear you're making your way through it with some help. And there were people here trying to make you feel bad about what you were doing, when he was doing the same thing, lol.
Seriously with this shit?? This copy of 50 Shades of Crap currently has $284 bid because 3 women "used" it?? What? There's still a day and a half left before the auction ends.
http://www.ebay.com/itm/150912544152?afsrc=1
Lololololol
Ah...MK....just when I start to think that there is no way you can top the last masterpiece you wrote, you deliver a piece of gold like the story above.
Lmfao.....you REALLY deserve an excellence in journalism award. <3
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
They definitely photoshopped her boob situation. I'm pretty sure they don't sit that high.
Hedi Ho , hoes. I've been drinking vino with the fam playing musis and singing along .........everything from Sinatra ,Bread, Gordon lightfoot, cat Stevens , queen, Fleetwood Mac,eagles to songs from musicals crazy night.
Hedi Ho , hoes. I've been drinking vino with the fam playing musis and singing along .........everything from Sinatra ,Bread, Gordon lightfoot, cat Stevens , queen, Fleetwood Mac,eagles to songs from musicals crazy night.
Well looky here bringing the swing through OP. You heard Venus and thought something else, right ESE? hahahaha *waves hi hi hi*
Loved the jazz Shade brought here and now this! It's gonna be a very good eve! ≈❀≈❀
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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*slides through thread door*... *takes a gander around*... *tips hat*... oh, don't mind me... i just thought that this thread was seriously lacking swing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L87vsqSiXM
*salutes*... *slides out thread door*
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
she looks like tila tequila in that picture.
Cool, Within. Glad you're listening and enjoying her music.
Yeah, 60's/70's stuff like some Beatles, Herman's Hermits, James Taylor, The Carpenters. Another thing I liked was how she really engaged with the audience. :-)
Hi ditquoi- nice to meet you too.
Submitted by KA on Sat, 10/06/2012 - 12:36am.
cheers to everyone here that has a fucked up sibling. have one myself, cunt bitch, and thats on a good day.
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yes. It's like they're not really a sibling. In one case one is extreme, defected at birth, condemned to welfare, yet a selfish, evil, violent bitch. in the other, he's a psychopath intelligent, but dangerous. That makes 2 siblings in all. Of course, I'm balanced. :) Really, I am the best of the lot.
Submitted by KA on Sat, 10/06/2012 - 12:36am.
cheers to everyone here that has a fucked up sibling. have one myself, cunt bitch, and thats on a good day.
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double post
Televised, Glad you made it back ok and you're son is finally with you. He must be so relieved. There's no reason to talk to your bro until he learns to treat your family better!
Doing good, hope to catch you on your next visit, hahaha I know you like to do the quick in and outs! Good to see ya. ☺☺
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
cheers to everyone here that has a fucked up sibling. have one myself, cunt bitch, and thats on a good day.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
WR, before I go off - how YOU doin'? :)
/rant:
yeah he's been with me ever since that day, of course. I had just gotten back to the area, hadn't found an apartment yet, but I finally accepted what a completely mental DICK my brother is and always will be. I had taken his abuse of me and shrugged it off but when he started to take it out on my kid, and justify it with this insane, twisted logic - and, by the way, he has a girlfriend who is prominently placed in the Children's Health field (she runs that division of one of the biggest hospitals in the Bay Area) and she does nothing - anyway, that crossed the line for me forever.
So (sigh) - we are fine now! Have a tiny (but safe) apartment, he's doing well in school, things are better.
/rant
had no intention of talking about all this, but the cracked sibling conversation got it bubbling again!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
God don't like ugly.
Shade, hadn't heard of her but she has a great sound. Love when musicians do different genres, she also played pop? Of course, they're trained and can probably play/sing anything but it's still, lol.
Can't top an evening like that, good choice! Nice you didn't have to worry about anything either. Yeah, she'd be one to see again. Definitely.
*listening on YT* ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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HA HA HA my son's been taking pictures for a year now. The thing is, some of his pics aren't bad. But, thanks to him, I know my ass isn't what it used to be.
:-D
nice to meet you, shade
Oh Televised, I remember when you mentioned your kid was over at your brother's while you were with your mom. Even then your bro was being terrible. Can't believe an uncle would put his nephew out on the street. What a jerk! Is your son finally staying with you, does he have a safe place to stay? Hope your kid's ok after all that. How are you doing these days? We hardly see you. ((hugs))
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hey- thanks, Within. :-)
Yep, after a great dinner out with the bf, saw an amazing singer, Sharon Clark, along with a trio, do jazzier covers of some pop songs from the 60's and 70's. She was fantastic! There's some vids of her on YouTube. I had never heard of her before but I definitely would love to see her again. Can't believe it wasn't a sold out show.
Was really psyched to have my bf take initiative and give me a choice of two diff 'plans'. It was nice to not have to think or plan anything for a change.
Great "Alien Baby" video to counter creepy "Alien Baby" video I just posted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?feature=player_embedded&v=341rybZ42vA
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Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria
hi guys. you know i lubs you all bewy bewy much.
i just realized the world isn't ending until December 12th. i thought the Mayans had been wrong, but we just haven't seen nothing yet.
perhaps Christina's album cover is a harbinger.
and speaking of siblings - mine is the worst. after all we went through, he got mad at me and, in retaliation, took my teenage son's housekey (for those who don't know, i was taking care of our dying mom, which is why my son was staying with him for the rest of the school year). then, five days after they got back from our mom's memorial, he gets pissed at me and take's my son's key away.
three days later, he put him out of the street because he was 10 minutes late. luckily it was a sunday morning.
i never want to see that asshole ever again. don't fuck with my kid.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
God don't like ugly.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 10:30pm.
is anybody else seeing an ad with an outer space social worker baby?
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Yep. Evil alien baby pops up every now and again. Reminds me of that fucked up doll from American Horror Story. Or that even more fucked up dancing baby from that Ally McBeal show dancing to Oooga Chucka.
*shudders*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=oHSuyTrKwdg
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Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria
Shade,
Sure, why not?
Ooohhhhh.....aaahhhhhhh this looks like the great masterpiece "The Birth of Venus"
^^^ no body will say this ever. Lol, tgif its beer thirty! :D
Thanks, Bizz.
Can I call you Bizz? ;-)
Chris,
Sisters suck ASS. My sister hates my guts. She is my half-sister and grew up with her father. I especially enjoyed being lured into a screaming match at Disney World - on CHRISTMAS DAY. We did not talk for two years after that.
Needless to say, she is the most non-supportive and hypocritical person I have ever met.
We do not get along. Enough said.
Sorry to hear about your situation - it sucks. It's hard when our siblings are such crap.
Hi Televised, I don't see it in my main browser but I do see a lot of ads with the others. lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 10:30pm.
is anybody else seeing an ad with an outer space social worker baby?
__________________
Yup, many times I've seen that evil cyborg baby telling me to be a social worker.
Welcome, shade.
Happy Belated Birthday.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 10:30pm.
Nope, but glad to see you back, Televised.
is anybody else seeing an ad with an outer space social worker baby?
MTurtle, He took under chin pics? hahaha those must be something! It's not a vantage point you'd normally get to see, maybe you'll find a long lost sock or something too as he explores, or video of your knees! lol Actually, it's kinda cool he'd think to take your picture. ;)
@Shade, hey, good to hear you had fun on your birthday! ☺
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hi everyone! I've been reading through your posts this evening (and over the last few months), and even though I haven't been on here that long (or comment that often), I am always impressed with the support system you've all got going on here. It's really great.
Some of you made my birthday this past Monday a bit brighter with your comments. So, thank you again! It ended up being a really fun one- after finally finishing work at 7:30. :-P
ANYWAY... wanted to weigh in and say, Chris: I'm sorry that your sister is such an energy-sucker and betch. Does she only reveal this crazy side to anyone else? Has she ALWAYS been this way with you and is it in front of your Mom ever? ugh. I'd steer clear of her for a while and build up your emotional strength and then talk to her if/when *you're* ready. You don't have to put up with her (seemingly constant) abuse.
BSF: you are a strong woman. I read about your situation a couple weeks back. Much luck to you- it sounds like you're takin' care of business. ;-)
ditquoi: I'm in NYC and I know what you're talking about with Sun. and driving along NJ/ NY--- and with a baby and toddler and a dog by yourself in the rain for that long sounds like a stressful drive. AND rental cars are so $$-- well, in NYC they are.
Hotmami: not sure if you're still on here-- but are you wanting him to say it first? I'm kind of traditional in that sense. I can totally relate to that feeling of wanting to burst out I LOVE YOU!-- where you keep repeating in your head the whole time. :-) He sounds like a nice guy and has already seen you at your 'worst' and is still there. ;-) And the fact that it feels right is a REALLY good sign.
Finally, X-Tina's hair always, always looks ratty. WHY???
Phew! Thanks for reading, all. ;-)
I am so happy I don't go to music / video stores anymore. I wouldn't handle seeing this nasty mess of a cover plastered everywhere!!!
~
Blerg!!
Submitted by MTurtle: "FYI: if you really really want to know what your "trouble" areas look like, check out your phone camera after your four year old has been behind you taking pictures (you are unawares). Everything looks hideous."
Truth. Sad truth.
I just went through my phone and deleted HUNDREDS of photos of toys, TV shows they like, my rear end, more photos of their toys, pigeons, Mr. Hekki watching TV, their toys, their rear ends...
They also like taking videos. Dios mio.
Oh no WR!!! Been there too, lol! He has this leap pad thing that has a camera/video and one day he got up early and I was soooo tired. I napped in the recliner while he sat next to me and played the games...unbeknownst to me until about a month later he had taken about 24 pics from the under my chin angle(!!!!!) and also took some nice footage :/,
Hey MTurtle! You may have a photographer in the making, ready to explore the world. Now, wait until you have one taken while you sleep ahahahha
Two words, "password" and "lock" ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Lisbet459 on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 5:21pm.
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exactly. Right on for the white girl, blue eyed bleached hair too. own it or shut up, but don't emphasize the exact opposite of what you said you stand for and feel. good point. sorry if i don't always respond or read all comments, it's not to ignore anyone.some of the time i'm at work or via cell.
edit.
WR, hiya!:)
Well apparently the view is not so great from a four year old's perspective!!!
Submitted by MTurtle on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 9:16pm.
--
Oh, come on MTurtle, that made me chuckle. hehehe I think very few take a good picture from below, lolol ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I just noticed her breasteses. Da fuk?
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
FYI: if you really really want to know what your "trouble" areas look like, check out your phone camera after your four year old has been behind you taking pictures (you are unawares). Everything looks hideous.
UBF: And I'll hide in the bushes with a camera to capture the moment he sees the artistry.
HAHAHAHAHA!
How I wish I had some fun girlfriends to get into trouble with anymore. Everyone I know is so upstanding and responsible and BORING.
Once I'm done raising my kids, I'm gonna go WILD.
Submitted by BaconSlut on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 4:52pm.
Yay! OP!
So, you horz remember the Wisconsin hooker that takes his puppeh into the waters of Lake Superior to help him battle the olds? Here is an awesome update!
http://www.kare11.com/news/article/993747/396/Bayfield-man-dog-receive-h...
And for kitteh lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITZiZcHfj8s
+++++
Lol, I love Dlistedese.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
*waits for Hekki in Driveway with Ski-masks for everyone*
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart: "I am about to drive by the Bowling Alley and spray : "God`s perfect Asshole" onto my husband`s car. God, i am so sick of his fucking shit."
*crowing with laughter*
I DARE YOU.
double dog dare you.
If I lived nearby, I'd drive you there, be the getaway driver and your alibi.
OK...I'll tell you all the story and you can pass it on to Twat Muffin if you see her.
I'm a driver in LA and a few years back I was assigned to drive Sir Sean around for 5 days as he was in town for the AFI Award Show. The first day I picked up him and his wife at the airport in a stretch limo. The next day was a sedan order going to AFI graduation as a suprise guest speaker. I thought it would be nice to upgrade him to a mercedez. Well, when he came out of the hotel, he was dressed in full Scottish kilt attire. Connery is very tall and ALL legs like a Great Dane. The MBZ has less leg room than a town car. He didn't have the room to fit his legs comfortably so his knees were up against the back of the seat spread apart. The only thing I kept thinking about is that "true Scots" don't wear anything under their kilts. It took every thing I had to not look. I mean what if I had been disappointed with what I saw??? I never looked.
That being said, I could have driven around all day every day just listening to him talk!! What a voice!!
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Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria
Oh, and I ran out of mayonnaise and am too poor/cheap to spend $7 on a jar of Hellman's and too snooty to buy any other brand, soooo...
I made some from scratch and it's sofa king good that I may never buy it again. Took about two minutes with my immersion blender and it kicks ass.
I am about to drive by the Bowling Alley and spray : "God`s perfect Asshole" onto my husband`s car. God, i am so sick of his fucking shit.