I wish I was telling you this is a blurry picture of Isaac and Gopher from the Love Boat (or Emmanuel Lewis and Joyce DeWitt) confirming their love, but sadly that isn’t so. This is The Difficult Brown and RiRi sitting to next to each other during Jay-Z’s show at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn last night. Doesn’t Jay-Z hate HATE hate Chris Brown or is that another lie Blue Ivy Carter told me? If Chris Brown is Jay-Z’s 100th problem, then RiRi bringing him to the concert last night was a for real slap in the face. And yes, I know what I did there and I meant to do it.
While Jim Lehrer (who hypnotized me with his teddy bear eyes) tried to referee the shank fight between the leader of the Bloods and the leader of the Crips last night, Chris Brown and RiRi cuddled up next to Beyonce and Rita Ora in the VIP section of Jay-Z’s show. Elliot Wilson of Rap Radar Instagram’d this picture that doctors will use on patients with Amblyopia to get them to roll their lazy eye back into place. Fist Brown also barfed up some statement to Hollywood Life confirming that he’s no longer humping on Karcuchi Tran and RiRi is the reason why. That Karcuchi trick should breath a sigh of relief, because she dodged a fist.
Whatever. It’s just like what my mom said to my 3rd grade teacher when she was told that I was failing math: Just let a dumb ho be a dumb ho! (Or like what the farmer said about the broken gardening tool in his shed.) If RiRi wants to trade in her dignity and self-respect for some climbing rope dick, let her. But can she please keep it out of club bathrooms, because the toilets want no part of that grossness.
Here’s RiRi going to the airport after Jay-Z’s show and a highly punchable Chris Brown derp derp derp-ing into his hotel.