Fist Brown And RiRi Are Boning In Club Bathrooms Now

A million years ago I walked into the bathroom of some goth club in L.A. and listened to (and saw) some drunk, stumbling mess in the first stall get the barfs from the butt and miss the toilet. I thought that was the most disgusting shit (punned on purpose) to ever happen in a club bathroom, but that mess was nothing compared to what happened in the bathroom of the NYC nightclub Griffin on Tuesday morning. Both Page Six and the NYDN say that in the bathroom of the Griffin, RiRi and Chris Brown got physical, only this time she didn’t end up in the emergency room.

Some witness tells Page Six that RiRi showed up to the club after Fist Brown did and sat at a table near his.  Fist Brown made his way to RiRi’s table, lifted up his shirt and the two started freaking on each other and mouth fucking. You’d think that the bathroom would already be occupied by people barfing their souls out from watching those stupid bitches get gross on each other, but it wasn’t, because RiRi and Fist Brown went in there together. When they came out of the bathroom, the witness says RiRi looked a little “ruffled.” Fist Brown and his entourage of dick bags left at around 4 in the morning and RiRi followed five minutes later. Hollywood Life says that RiRi went back for more, because she was partying with Fist Brown at 1 Oak last night.

Sometimes dickmatization is a serious disease and will fuck you up in more ways than one. I’m trash, so I’m all for bathroom sex, but I’m not for having bathroom sex with a nasty ass wart who nearly punched your face into the next zip code. If RiRi is that adick-ded to Fist Brown, she should just stick a pool noodle on an angry beaver toy and ride that instead. It’s the same thing and way more safe. Gross bitches, the both of them.

Speaking of addiction, I am addicted to House Hunters International and have probably seen every episode at least 5 times. Lately, they’ve been repeating this one episode from Brazil over and over again. So when I first read this story about Fist bending RiRi over a toilet, my first thought was this:

My thoughts exactly, Rafaella. And the same thought goes for the shit RiRi wore yesterday in NYC.