Keith Urban’s got wig burns all over his face today and it’s all because he was in the middle of two diva bitches dragging each other back and forth. The producers of American Idol have finally figured out that we don’t want to see a bunch of fresh-faced, sappy ass kids sing some dumb Carrie Underwood song in between crying about how hard their life has been. We want to see WEAVES FLYING, which is sort of what happened during auditions in Charlotte, North Carolina today.
TMZ got a hold of a video of Nicki making Hello Kitty her #1 enemy by cursing Mimi out as Keith Urban contemplated whether or not he should just throw himself out that window behind him. The producers had to press the stop button for the day after the toilet baby of Effie from the Hunger Games and Trash Heap nearly punched the rainbows out of the queen of the lambs. I speak fluent cunt, so this is what I heard in that video:
Nicki: “And if you’ve got a fucking problem, handle it. I told them I’m not fucking putting up with your fucking highness over there.”
Mimi: “Oh why, why do I have a three year old sitting around me?”
Nicki “I’m not sitting here for 20 minutes and have you run down your resume everyday.”
Mimi: “I can’t see my kids, because you decided to act like a little crazy bitch and go all around the stage.”
Nicki: “Go see them now, go. You’re boring as shit!”
Apparently, after this, Nicki threatened to knock Mimi out. If this is some STUNT QUEEN shit, then slow clap for the producers for finally giving us a show. If this isn’t some STUNT QUEEN shit, then slow clap for the producers for fully knowing that putting those two egos together would end with them scalping each other with their acrylic claws.
Mimi responded to this mess on Twitter with a simple: whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
And I’m responding to this mess right here with a simple: YAAAAASSSSSSSS!!!
UPDATE: And here’s TMZ’s transcript of this beautiful wreck:
Nicki: Get this shit in self control. Get in control. Get in control.
Randy: Settle down, settle down
Nicki: Don’t lose your head. Don’t lose your head (inaudible). Don’t tell me I’m a gangster.
Nicki: (inaudible) every 5 minutes. So every time you patronize me, I’m-ma take it back, and if you’ve got a fucking problem, handle it.
Nicki: I told them I’m not fuckin’ putting up with her fucking highness over there. Figure it the fuck out. Figure it out.
Nicki: I’m not gonna sit here every fucking minute to have you come down and harass me every minute everyday.