But What In The Hell Is That Thing On Her Head?

September 30, 2012 / Posted by:

Anne Hathaway got married yesterday to that jewelry designer/actor dude she got with right after her con artist ex-boyfriend got busted by the feds, and judging by these blurry pictures, it sorts of looks like they exchanged vows in the middle of the same cornfield where mobsters torture their enemies in movies. But 29-year-old Anne and 31-year-old Adam Shulman didn’t get married in the middle of a corn field/mob cemetery, they got married right before sunset at a private estate in Big Sur, CA. I see you, Anne, trying to get yourself some Oscar luck by getting married in the same town Natalie Portman’s ass got married in. Well, but at least Anne served CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE.

People says that over 100 guests watched as Adam and Anne bumped teefs during their first marital kiss after becoming husband and wife next to a barn on a fancy private estate. Some source says that Anne wore a custom-made gown by Valentino, but that source is spitting lies, because you know that’s one of her old costumes from The Princess Diaries 2. One of the wedding vendors, who obviously has zero shits to give over signing a confidentiality agreement, tells Celebuzz that they think Anne and Adam’s wedding cost around $1 million and the flowers alone were $100,000.

Now that the boring stuff is out of the way, what in shower headband hell is attacking her head? Did Anne have brain surgery right before the wedding? Did she somehow come up with the idea that head trauma victim bride is SO the look this season? If Anne took off her dress and put on a stained Garfield shirt, holey sweats and Chinese house slippers, she’d look like my cousin going to the refrigerator to pour herself a morning cup of Fresca. That is some sleeping head wrap glamour right there.

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