Messy In More Ways Than One

September 29, 2012 / Posted by:

You too would take the express route to Drunkville if you looked down and saw the cut-off tails of a family of My Little Ponies draped over your chichis. Dishwashers at Spago in Beverly Hills had to stay 2 hours past their shift last night, scrubbing red oil stains off the edges of wine glasses, which could only mean one thing: Drunktina was there!

Looking like she just hung her head over a toilet right after Jem! took a pink and purple-colored piss in it, Drunktina stumbled out of Spago last night with the help of two human crunches. You know, Drunktin’s leased piece, whatever his name is, has it good. Dude gets to live in a mansion, use Xtina’s AMEX whenever he wants and the only thing he has to do is safely escort her drunk ass to a waiting SUV and dunk her face in a bowl full of paint remover before bedtime so she doesn’t ruin another pair of $3,000 sheets. Bitch does not have it bad.

And let’s all just close our eyes until this whole “poop stars thinking they’re on Rainbow Brite” trend finally ends.

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