Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 29, 2012 / Posted by:

Depending on how fashion forward you were, you might’ve had a bubble bottle necklace in either the 80s or the 90s. If you don’t know what the bubble bottle necklace is, its name is pretty self-explanatory, but I’ll tell you in detail what it was in case your brain checks out when you clock your time card out on Friday nights. The bubble bottle necklace is a bottle of bubbles that has a string attached to it which makes it a necklace. Glad, I could clear that up.

So, when I was a kid, this shit was coveted by everyone. I got one at the swap meet for 99 cents and treated it like it was the finest piece of jewelry I owned, which it was. It was so special that if I was friends with Lindsay Lohan and she came over to hang out, she would’ve snatched it up. Eventually, I would’ve known she took since she’d start queefing bubbles.

I blew my bubble bottle necklace so much that it felt weird every time I exhaled and gay ass bubbles didn’t come flying out of my mouth. I was the original gay fish. One of my favorite things to do was to blow bubbles and then use my hand fan to blow them around. Yes, I had a bubble bottle necklace AND a hand fan and I used them together. I looked like a Chinese madam at an underground whore house in San Francisco circa 1978.

They still make bubble bottle necklaces today, and while researching this high important story I came across a bubble bottle necklace that I may or may not have ordered a dozen of.

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