Hot Slut Of The Day!

The gorgeous raven orchid who somehow wandered in from the 1980s to provide some much needed glamour to Ramona Singer’s anti-abuse charity fashion show on last night’s episode of The Real Mental Patients Housewives of New York City.

All of the attention was supposed to be on the stupid bitch brawl between the humanized shaken bottle of pinot grigio that is Ramona Singer (aka Trailer Turd) and Aviva’s horny charbroiled tortoise of a father, but my eyes just wanted to stay on the exquisitely crafted beauty who was probably the IT GIRL of the Sumerians in the early 80s and is now the IT GIRL of the New Jersey dental practice where she works as an assistant office manager. Every time she popped up on screen during the anti-abuse event, I was reminded that even in a field of neurotic craziness, a demure and stunning flower can grow. This unnamed jewel is like a come-to-life portrait of Linda Dano painted by Patrick Nagel.

Whenever you start to think that the world is an ugly, shitty place, just close your eyes and think about how somewhere this beauty is using half a bottle of White Rain hairspray to make her bangs look like onyx waves crashing on a shore of elegance.

Dear Bravo, every time I watch Aviva Drescher slowly suck the fun out of the room with the verbal streams of judgement that come out of her mouth, I just want to beat my head against a prosthetic leg. Please replace that frigid human wrapped around a butt stick with the beauty above. Thank you.