Sofia Vergara’s Nalgas Can’t Be Tamed

September 24, 2012 / Posted by:

If it’s morning time for you and the liquid caffeine you inject directly into your forehead vein hasn’t hit your brain yet, the picture Sofia Vergara posted on Whosay last night might look all sorts of things like two uncooked corn dogs waiting to go into the fryer or an eclipse as seen through a slit in a Las Vegas showgirl’s costume. But it’s a picture of Sofia Vergara’s ass crack refusing to be ignored.

Twenty minutes before Modern Family won their 1,579,773th trophy at last night’s Modern Family Appreciation Ceremony, Sofia Vergara’s butt cakes busted her zipper right open. You might think that Sofia’s nalgas are a couple of fame whores and just wanted to get their pictures taken, because her chichis were getting all the attention, but I think it was doing what we all did. It blew out a gust of hot air, because Modern Family kept winning EVERYTHING.

They were winning so much that I’m sure when they got backstage, Publishers Clearing House gave them a check for $1 million, the California Lottery people congratulated them for having the winning ticket even though they didn’t buy any tickets and then ASkars gave each of them a vial of his own Swedish baby batter before saying, “Please have my child.”

Modern Family won Outstanding Comedy Series for the third year in a row, Julie Bowen won Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series for the second year in a row and Eric Stonestreet won Outstanding Support Actor in a Comedy Series. But the winningest ho in that cast is Jesse Tyler Ferguson who gets to go home and comb and condition his piece’s luscious grizzly brows every night.

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