Hot Slut Of The Day!

The Automatic Sperm Extractor from China!

China just keeps showing the US up. While here in the US we still use human sperm extractors named John Travolta, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, in China use sperm-sucking machine that can take load after load all the time without complaining about how it has a headache and can’t tonight, and it won’t make dudes spoon with it afterward. Oddity Central says that several hospitals in China are trying out a machine that jacks out sperm from dudes with infertility issues who either don’t have hands or can’t get romantic enough to fap into a plastic cup under fluorescent lighting. Dudes just slip on a condom, stick their peen in the medical glory hole and let the machine work its magic. Click play to see it in action and if you’ve got a peen, prepare to fall in love and throw ALL the engagement rings at it:

The Fappinator 2000 is so damn popular at one hospital in China that it takes 20 to 30 peens a day. I know where John Travolta’s spending Halloween (SPOILER ALERT: China) and I know what he’s going to dress up as (SPOILER ALERT: this machine).

They should really make a portable, battery-powered version that you can take everywhere. It’s the perfect automated Fleshlight for lazies. Use it in the car, at your desk and everywhere else. But before you press the start button, pray that the machine doesn’t malfunction so hard that it pulls your dick off and suddenly becomes a sex change machine called the Bobbitt Bot.

And I’m sure a secret recording will leak of Paris Hilton saying that this machine is the horniest machine in the world, is disgusting and probably has machine AIDS.

(For Max)