Hot Slut Of The Day!
The slutty abandoned couch who got caught having public sex! (Disclaimer: The abandoned couch in the picture above is not the abandoned couch in this story. The abandoned couch in this story is way hotter and way sluttier looking than that abandoned couch above.)
Gerard P. Streator, a 46-year-old hotel employee from Waukesha, Wisconsin (Side Note: If I ever have a first born, it's name will be Waukesha.) is facing a charge of one count of lewd and lascivious behavior after some prude ass off-duty cop caught him bareback fucking the loose change out of a hot abandoned couch on the curb. You know what they say, more cushion for the pushin'.
The off-duty cop was jogging at around 11pm when he noticed that Gerard the sofa fucker was giving it good to a couch's cooch. When the cop screamed at Gerard, "What are you doing?", he pulled out and ran away. The cop chased Gerard to his apartment building and found out his name. The cock-blocking cop reported Gerard to the local police station, and the next day cops showed up and his wife told them he was asleep in their bed (uh huh) the night before. Gerard was issued a court appearance notice and if he ever gets convicted of that dumb charge, he could spend 9 months in prison and get a fine of up to $10,000.
I know exactly what's going on here and I know why that off-duty cop is really trying to stick it to Gerard the same way Gerard stuck it to that slutty couch. One day not that long ago, the off-duty cop's wife came home and dropped all the grocery's on the floor when she caught him deep dicking the slutty couch without a plastic cover on. The off-duty cop lied to his wife and said it was just a one time thing and it'd never happen again, but the truth was not coming out of his mouth. That slutty couch wasn't just a one-time side piece, the off-duty cop was so in love with it that he couldn't even sit on another sofa, because it felt wrong. The wife knew this and so one day she dropped that home wrecking slut whore of a couch on the curb. The off-duty cop wasn't "jogging" that night, he was out looking for his true love. And when he found it, he also found Gerard fucking his true love's cushion seams loose. So the off-duty cop isn't going after Gerard in the name of THINK OF THE CHILDREN WHO WILL THINK IT'S OKAY TO HAVE PREMARITAL SEX WITH ANY ANY WHORY PIECE OF UPHOLSTERY ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, he's going after Gerard in the name of BETRAYAL!
So that slutty sofa has wrecked a home, is one of the reasons why a man might go to prison, has probably given dozens of dudes a case of bed bugs in their pube bushes and its got grown men fighting over its tight cushion slits. That slutty abandoned sofa is my new idol and my new favorite abandoned sofa!
via Waukesha Patch
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Sofa, so good.
Unfortunately, Michael, it's pronounced WAH-keh-shah. I'm in Minneapolis and Waukesha is on the way to Chicago or hell or something, so I have been through there :)
The cop couldn't even wait for the finish, requisite cigarette, and 'was it good for you too'? What ever happened to the defense of True Love? (Glad you included the disclaimer, because I think I've seen that slutty whore lying around town.)
YES! The Abandoned Couch Legacy Lives On!
NEVER FORGET!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
Why???? But LOL.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Proof once again that men will literally fuck ANYTHING!!!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
It's a COUCH, not a COOCH, dumbass ! :[
Yes, I was fondly remembering Original Abandoned Couch last week when my family made me abandon one of my favorite couches (it was the victim of a leaky roof and had developed a mold problem) I watched sadly as the garbage man loaded it (too roughly!) onto his truck and drove away. Sniff. I kept the slipcovers, we'll always have those.
Inanimate object marriage should be legalized!
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Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 09/23/2012 - 1:32pm.
The picnic table was a better lay.
ETA: You have to be a long-time DLister to remember that fuckery.
There was also a car fucker and the lady that married a bridge.
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@ MJF
Menomonie
Eau Claire
Tomah
Baraboo
Waunakee
Oconomowoc
Peawaukee
Just to name a few. Worst drive EVER in the winter: MKE - MSP and vice versa.
Pimp Mama Kouch was somewhere behind this fuckery... as was the equally as slutty sister loveseat and sister matching chair.
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"You're gonna be a grandma, bitch!"
yeah Fuck Yo Couch! haha But the real story is that the cop who was out jogging at 11pm probably thought this guy was his craigslist date, and when they guy wasn't interested in seeing his nightstick the cop followed him (who would follow the person for a stupid crime like that, even a cop?)home and decided to make their next date in the jail cell.
fuck yo couch gif
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
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I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK
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Submitted by agirl on Sun, 09/23/2012 - 8:58pm.
How and why does someone fuck a sofa? Were there absolutely no other options, or is this a fetish?
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the story i heard from a guy who fucked a couch was that his friend had this couch that was some fancy soft material that felt really good, so he felt like he shoudl fuck it. he was a virgin
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
*
I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK
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this isn't the first time i've heard about guys fucking a couch :/
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
*
I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK
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How and why does someone fuck a sofa? Were there absolutely no other options, or is this a fetish?
First - I shit you not, I just spent the weekend in Waukesha, WI. (in-laws live there...God only knows why). And I drove though no less than 50 equally-bizarrely named cities to get there from Minneapolis.
Second - I remember when the first couch was hot-slut and now feel old and out of touch.
*grumbles to self "back in the day, our hot slut couch didn't need to whore itself out to get famous"
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
Furniture has to be brand spanking new in order for me to give any lovin from this oven.
And dude...just use the Ambien defense. It worked for Tiger.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by BEAT on Sun, 09/23/2012 - 5:40pm.
Waukesha has always been the sacrificial lamb of Wisconsin.
Beat! How are ya?
Waukesha has always been the sacrificial lamb of Wisconsin.
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You can't stop the BEAT!
Submitted by Albatross on Sun, 09/23/2012 - 3:49pm.
Damn, men will fuck anything, won't they?
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I think 25 is the cut off age where we all should consider this a given, if you don't know this by then you're just a bumpkin.
ETA: And yes I'd hit it. Check out those cushions!
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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
I knew that couch at one time, and it wasn't always such a whore - it only went off the edge after that f&^&^%ng floor lamp used it, abused it and then took up with the bookcase -
Lucy♥, Think of the the couches, HAVE YOU NO COMPASSION? Don't side with the Couchysts Luce! hahaha
@Daniee, that's actually a pretty classy piece of furniture! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I'd consider this one
http://www.funnymad.com/1207/Penis+Shaped+Sofa/
Fuck, Yes!! Couch has made it again to the Hot Slut list! Whooot!
Submitted by pussyposse on Sun, 09/23/2012 - 1:50pm.
I just don't understand why women worry about cellulite when the standards for men are oh so low.
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Bwaahaahahahahaha
This is just a publicity stunt by a talentless couch looking to cash in on the ORIGINAL Abandoned Couch's fame.
Submitted by Andrei on Sun, 09/23/2012 - 2:55pm.
Did he have sex with the couch like this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxM3MnLZAaA
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The sound effects and side-eye. The end. bwahahahaha ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Abandoned upholstered furniture = possible bedbug infestation
NO THANKS
I'd pork a couch but it would have to be brand new from ikea.....I have standards.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My lover....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz147m98jdQ&feature=related
Submitted by Albatross on Sun, 09/23/2012 - 3:49pm.
Damn, men will fuck anything, won't they?
NO! Well.......yes :(
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My lover....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz147m98jdQ&feature=related
But... but... that's where my favorite Cheesecake Factory is!
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
TEAM BANANA JAYSUS! He shall rise again!!
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
Damn, men will fuck anything, won't they?
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No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart.
Too bad Richard Gere didn't happen to pass by and discover this slutty couch - which probably has a heart of gold - and save it from it's awful life.
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"You're gonna be a grandma, bitch!"
You know what they say. Once you go couch, you never go back. Or something like that.
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Did he have sex with the couch like this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxM3MnLZAaA
Oh Waukesha...that's where I passed my driver's test!
I'm curious what dude's wife looks like. Also, couch fucker is probably originally from Florida, jussayin'.
Bacony, aaawwww so cuuuuute! *muah*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Hot Puppeh Slut Of Teh Day:
http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2012/09/22/dog-takes-up-motherly-duties-fo...
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Submitted by salacious on Sun, 09/23/2012 - 2:14pm.
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LOL Sal, the cop went out for the "usual," dropped his pants, went in for the cushion and said WTF, who dis? Sneaky sneaky. Gerard should report him for unlawful poking without prior consent. hehehehe
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Wait - jogging at 11 p.m.? Are we sure Deputy Dickhead didn't invite invite the accused to "have a seat" and he just took it the wrong way?
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Although I know the correct pronunciation, when I see "Waukesha" my brain reads "Whoa, Ke$ha"
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
"Jogging" at 11 PM.... um, right. There's a first time for everything I guess. Some guy goes out cruisin' late at night, finds a place to get it on, but discovers that the seat is taken. LOL.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
MK you make the unbearable, bearable!!!!! lol
Oh if the couch could talk.
Submitted by cocoebert on Sun, 09/23/2012 - 1:49pm.
Thread drama indeed! I think it was in the forum too. LOL Michael probably had to be medicated during all that.
I read the article for this, the couch was yellow. I knew she was a flashy whore bringing attention to herself!
Viva la Abandoned Couches!
Your eternal beauty lives on!!
Never forget the original sofa that made it possible and paved the way for all future sofas to go after their dreams.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Submitted by pussyposse on Sun, 09/23/2012 - 1:50pm.
I just don't understand why women worry about cellulite when the standards for men are oh so low.
LMAO!! But you just know that Streator, when he's with his buds at Hooters, is hyper-critical of the waitresses.
I just don't understand why women worry about cellulite when the standards for men are oh so low.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sun, 09/23/2012 - 1:26pm.
*hi-fives Louise_Brooks*
I cannot believe that mess of voting that year caused the end of HSOTY. I guess we drove Michael over the edge with all the accusations about voting cheats in every damn thread and even months after the voting. The side-eyes are in full force!
I miss HSOTY
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LOL, came to say this. Oh lord the drama! Poor MK. Hahahaha- remember the fights breaking out over Stains winning HSOTY? TEAM STAINS FOREVER!!
I do miss HSOTM and HSOTY as well, though.