Billie Joe Armstrong Checks Into Rehab After Losing His Mind In Las Vegas

September 23, 2012 / Posted by:

Throwing hate at Justin Bieber is usually a sign of a sane mental state and a sober mind, but that’s not the case for Billie Joe Armstrong. Emily the Strange’s uncle who used to secretly give her sips from his bottle of Zima at family reunions is sitting his ass in rehab today after he nearly raged his black eyeliner off during the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas on Friday night. PAGING NURSE JACKIE! Green Day’s rep gave the news to The Associated Press:

In a statement to The Associated Press, Green Day apologized “to those they offended at the iHeartRadio Festival” and said its set was not cut short by Clear Channel, the host of the two-day festival.

The Grammy winning band also is canceling some of its promotional appearances. It is due to release the album “Uno” on Tuesday, the follow-up to “21st Century Breakdown,” released three years ago. “Uno” is the first in a trilogy of albums; the second is to be out in November, and the last in January. The band is due to kick off a nationwide tour Nov. 26 in Seattle.

Translation: Clear Channel dragged Billie Joe to a chair, pulled down his Cheap Monday jeggings and spanked him until he agreed to say it wasn’t their fault.

Green Day’s rep didn’t say specifically why Billie Joe’s in rehab, but for the sake of Maybelline’s stock, I hope it’s not to deal with his unhealthy addiction to eye paint. And at the bottom of a dumpster somewhere in Las Vegas, the strings on Billie Joe’s broken electric guitar made a smile.

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