Amanda Bynes is doing “amazing” and if you’re wondering what your definition of “amazing” is, just press play on that mess of a video above and you’ll have it. Amanda not only got those talon ass nails attached to the tips of her fingers, because sometimes she likes to fly over lakes and catch fish. Amanda also got them, because when she’s not having a beauty moment and a pap gets a picture of her face, she shanks out their blood with her nails. It’s the Freddy Krueger way of saying, “Excuse my beauty.“
Entertainment Tonight has this strange as John Travolta licking a clit video of Amanda and a paparazzo fighting back and forth while he tried to get pictures of her. Amanda started posing, but then she suddenly crashed into him like she was a BMW and he was any car on the road, because she has to always look beautiful (too easy) at all times and wanted him to delete a bunch of pictures. They go at it for a while until it ends with Amanda allegedly stabbing him with her razors nails and him screaming at her to let him go while she’s standing practically 10 blocks away.
I know I’ve said it before, but I kept waiting for Casey Affleck to yell “CUT” before a taco truck pulled up for a lunch break between shooting scenes. The only thing missing is a Universal Studios tour bus full of tourists, because this mess looks so staged that I’m assuming it was shot on a backlot. When are we going to get to the scene where “Amanda” pulls off her “Amanda Bynes” rubber mask and it’s Andy Kaufman underneath who screams, “I’m alive and I got you this time!“