White Oprah Does Not Party With Lindsay Lohan

September 21, 2012 / Posted by:

As we all saw on the anti-drug PSA episode of Dr. Phil, White Oprah is not only the epitome of a responsible mother, but she’s also a role model to all young women and she knows this which is why she’d never EVER party with her own daughter. The NYDN went from Long Island bar to Long Island bar and eventually they found White Oprah slumped under a pay phone while yelling at the cord dangling in front of her for calling her a bad mother. They waved half of a Xanax at her face, which made her slur out, “Half a Xanax? That’ll get you one handy with a spit job. Drop ‘em.” When the NYDN told her they wanted to ask her a few questions instead, she agreed! It’s nice to know that wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, White Oprah is probably spitting out the opposite of the truth to some reporter.

On if she’s true that she boozed it up with her daughter on her birthday: “My 80-year-old mother was there, and she’s Italian-American, and to be able to have a glass of red wine there for her is normal for our family. “Some people who want to quit drinking do it cold turkey and some do it gradually — you want to keep a balance. I don’t know what’s a right way or a wrong way.”

On how all of the illegal shit LiLo does should be blamed on her assistant Gavin: “I have questions about Gavin. There have been numerous incidents with Lindsay where he has been present. He was with her recently at [millionaire Sam Magid’s] party when she was falsely accused of burglarizing jewelry. It’s all very sketchy.”

On how she totally doesn’t party with her daughter: “I don’t party with Lindsay. In the early years, I would go with her to clubs, because I wanted to see who the enablers were.”

“Because I wanted to see who enablers were.” This bitch is a master at turning excuses out of a bull’s colon into one hundred percent comedy! That really is a good line and she should take it even further.”I only downed that entire bottle of vodka, because I wanted to make sure my SOBER daughter wasn’t tempted! I only stole that money out of my daughter’s purse, because I didn’t want anybody else to steal it out of her purse! I only did all those lines on the table, because I wanted to make sure it was crushed Tic Tacs and not coke! It was coke!

And here’s LiLo carrying Domingo Zapata child in NYC last night. Domingo Zapata is that really rich “friend” of LiLo’s. Either that boy is getting second-hand high from being that close to LiLo’s face or his tummy hurts from all the diamond rings she made him swallow at Cartier.

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