Two Lindsay Lohan Crashes In One Post!

September 20, 2012 / Posted by:

Below is surveillance video of Lindsay Lohan allegedly knocking some dude’s knee cap out with her Porsche SUV. The video is blurry, confusing and you can’t really tell what’s going on in reality, so basically it’s like looking through Lindsay Lohan’s coke eyes. You can sort of see LiLo graze the dude before he runs after her. It doesn’t even look like Blohan’s dumb ass hit him, but she should still be strung up and forced to serve several life sentences for the crash going on in the trailer above.

Lifetime released the first trailer for Liz & Dick and I think we should all be thanking the gods above, because Christmas has been moved up to November this year. This is truly a gift to us all. Future historians will call this the biggest disaster to happen on American soil in 2012. If I put a Cleopatra wig on my asshole and painted cat eyes on it, it would look and act more like Elizabeth Taylor than LiLo does. Hell, it would sound more like La Liz than La Lindz does. The wigs! The voice! The EVERYTHING! I haven’t been this excited about a pile of shit since my last enema. This mess is going to be glorious.

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