Hot Slut Of The Day!

Zane Knight, the tire repairman from the 25th season of the show you call Is This Shit Still On?! and the show I call Yes, This Shit Is Still On And I’ve Seen Every Damn Episode Because Living Life Is Overrated!

Last night was the premiere of Survivor: Philippines starring legendary TV star turned born again Christian mom leader Blair Warner and I learned that 80s TV history class should replace American history class in all schools, because only one of her tribe mates recognized her. Any ho of any age who doesn’t immediately start humming The Facts of Life theme song after looking at Lisa Welchel’s face should be voted off every island immediately. Mrs. Garrett has spoken! But Blair Warner wasn’t the only bright, shining star last night, there was also Zane!

Zane is sort of like Eminem if Eminem was raised by Mama June from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Zane came into the game thinking that he was going to be the master manipulator and puppet master. Zane went hard from the beginning. Zane is that one in the circle jerk who starts furiously fapping and busting nuts six seconds in while everyone’s hand is still slowly romancing and seducing their peen.

Zane made an alliance with every single member of his tribe and when his tribe (SPOILER ALERT) lost hard in the immunity challenge, he told all of them to vote him out because he is shit at challenges. Zane dropped some RUH-VURZ SI-CALL-A-GEEZE on those bitches! Zane really tricked him, only he didn’t. Zane was voted out. So the moral of the story is…

Don’t let anybody tell you that neck tattoos somehow stop the circulation to the brain, because mastermind Zane proves that isn’t true! And the REAL moral of the story is….

Don’t trust a bitch whose pet peeves are butt rimming and ice cream sprinkles.