The Cops Finally Take Away Amanda Bynes' Death Machine, Lindsay Delusionhan Is Not Impressed

Amanda Bynes' bumper car adventures are over...until she eventually puts on her favorite disguise (they call her Sneaky McCobijaFace) to carjack a Disney star and continue to toke her face off to terrorize the streets of Los Angeles in the name of her satanic overlords at Nickelodeon. (More on that Nickelodeon vs. Disney in a second.)

Bumper Car Mandy was driving through Burbank at around 9:30 yesterday morning when the cops pulled her over. TMZ doesn't say why they pulled her over, but I'm sure it had something to do with weed smoke pouring out of her exhaust pipe and screams coming from the bicyclist who clung to her hood after she hit him and kept on driving. The cops ran her drivers license, found out she's a menace to the streets and put her BMW in car jail.

Amanda's friends and families are probably concerned that her partner in terror, her black BMW, was ripped from her hands, because now that she REALLY has nothing to do, she's going to come over, smoke all of their good shit, hit on their refrigerators and have seriously intense conversations with their coffee table about how the refrigerator over there is a frigid bitch and refused to give her its number. But wait, TMZ says that Amanda is telling her friends that she's not fucking crazy in the brains and she's not a stoner. Amanda wasn't smoking weed in her car, she was smoking tobacco out of a one-hitter that is pretty much only used to smoke weed out of. Yes, this crazy bitch wants us all to believe that she was smoking tobacco. Bitch should've went all the way and said she was smoking oregano and inhaling oregano smoke, because she read in Gourmet Magazine that tacos from Baja Fresh taste so much better with a thick layer of oregano-infused farts on them. (Yes, this is your cue to bring up the image of Amanda Bynes farting on a Baja Fresh taco.)

And now for that Nickelodeon vs. Disney foolery. After Nickelodeon's greatest fuck-up got her car impounded, Disney's greatest fuck-up shaded her on Twitter with the above tweet of grand delusion. Let's see, Amanda Bynes got charged with 1 DUI and 2 hit-and-runs, and her case hasn't been heard by a judge yet, so she's never been convicted of anything yet. Lindsay Lohan has been convicted of DUI, has at least a million probation violations, is a certified jewel thief and almost murdered a kid in a stroller. And the amount of time it took me to write that last sentence is twice as long as the total amount of time Lindsay Lohan has spent in a jail cell.

I'm just going to go ahead and assume that LiLo queefed out that tweet as a distraction. Everybody was too busy laughing at that insane tweet that they didn't notice LiLo breaking into the impound lot and sneaking into Amanda's BMW to vacuum up all the weed crumbs in there. Well played, you dumb bitch.

Or maybe this is just the first shot fired in the Nickelodeon vs. Disney war. Spongebob and Mickey better Vaseline up their faces and sharpen their shanks, because the battle has begun. I'm sure President Obama will hold an emergency press conference to state where he stands in this highly important national war.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by angela34 on Tue, 10/09/2012 - 5:39pm.

I don't care about her driving habits as long as she is not a public danger. I think she's better off without her car though although it won't be long until we may see her shopping for bmw m3 performance parts again.

Submitted by megank on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 7:09pm.

Blo's probably mad because it isn't her that is at the center of attention of fuck-ups.

Submitted by WhitneyHagas on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 5:59pm.

And as incoherent as Dina Lohan was (why does she still carry that bastard's anme?), no one and I mean NO ONE beats Lil Richard in that one Hendrix documentary. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHlRa-RPjWE ) God rest his soul... hold the muthafuckin phone, Google says Lil Richard is still alive!!! Sweet Jesus, Lindsay could live to 100 then.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 5:58pm.

WhitneyHagas, well if she gets a hankering for cocain and pussy then her mom will know why.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by WhitneyHagas on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 5:56pm.

**Spoiler alert**
I DVR'd this but ran down to catch the last 10 minutes. The Lohans are certified nuts. But why in god's name would any self respecting woman show up on tv, admit to an extramarital affair with the repulsive Michael Lohan, as the human result of their fuckery is sitting on the couch next to her? What does that side piece want money? Recognition? And that 17 yr old girl with her "message" to her sperm donor. Ugh.

If I was spawned by Michael Lohan, the last thing I'd do is tell the world about. How can I go out in public again? Why cant any of these ppl shut the fuck up, esp when they did some ho shit?
I have decided that by default anyone appearing on television is crazy.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 5:52pm.

Submitted by Get Serious on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:39pm.
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Get Serious did she respond to that? You probably got flamed by her "fans" for it.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by KA on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 5:48pm.

she is completely delusional. being a stupid bitch as usual, what else is new.

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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK

Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 5:48pm.

Lilo really needs to be nicer to Amanda considering that Uncle Hank is going to be screaming "ass to ass" at both of them within the next several months.

Submitted by MissDior on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 5:32pm.

Lol the interview is airing in Denver now. It's a bigger mess than I imagined. Best line so far "even if five of those charges were obsolete, that leaves seventeen"

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 4:52pm.

Get Serious - well, yeah, wouldn't put it past her. She really IS that stupid.

Maybe she continually does this in an effort TO get caught because 1. She won't get into any REAL trouble (in her brain anyways) and 2. It's attention.

Submitted by Get Serious on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 4:49pm.

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 5:31pm.

Get Serious - OMG! I didn't even put two and two together. Is the Mac Book she tweeted in the plane the stolen one from the Chateau?!?!?
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Don't know for sure, but, knowing this idiot, it probably is. Remember, she was photographed wearing the necklace 1 day after she stole it. And, when she ripped off that girl's mink coat, she was photographed the very next day by the papps wearing it, to the point that the police went to her home, showed her the complaint & the picture, and she ended up giving it back right then. It's like she wants to be caught; there's something very sick about this...

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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 4:40pm.

Lindsay is just so freaking glad that someone else has taken the fuck up title from her temporarily. She can't keep her dumb mouth shut.

* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 4:01pm.

Get Serious - OMG! I didn't even put two and two together. Is the Mac Book she tweeted in the plane the stolen one from the Chateau?!?!?

Submitted by skabazzle on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 4:00pm.

Maybe Amanda is cracking up similar to how Britters did- that said- STFU LINDSAY.

Lindsay Lohan's costar's nalgas flew her so close to the sun that they both exploded into stardust that still lights up Hollywood.

Submitted by mefunigirl on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:55pm.

did I miss something? has lindsey finally been punished for something?

*runs off to google it*

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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz

Submitted by soapopera4cam on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:48pm.

this bitch is STILL alive?!

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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy

Submitted by Poopele on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:34pm.

I'm sure President Obama will hold an emergency press conference to state where he stands in this highly important national war.

It would be nice to hear him talk about something he might actually be informed on.

Submitted by Stan Hooper on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:33pm.

I watch too much Wicked Women, Women behind bars, Women on Death Row and Snapped...and I've come to the conclusion that Lohan is one stone away from being a narcissistic killer. Give her a car and her daily cocktails. She will kill more people than Arlene Wurnos.

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Submitted by Esteem on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:31pm.

Haha, she's whining about being in jail for less than 2 hours? Bitch, please. Go on Amanda, steal her spotlight some more so we can watch the epic meltdown with popcorn.

Submitted by Mani6 on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:19pm.

Shut your freckled, flapping, felafel hole!

Ex-con...please!

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Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:14pm.

Well, is there's one good thing about Blohan and Bynes is that they provide stable job security for the men and women in blue (or tan).

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Also, when you end a statement with "Kim Kardashian is fabulous," all your previous points are INVALID, because obviously you have lost your damn mind." - MK

Submitted by ilovetatertots on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:01pm.

Submitted by Get Serious on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:39pm.

HAHA!! Right on!!

Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 2:33pm.

Actually, this could work, get these brats to police themselves instead of chasing them down, lol. They're already on social media all the time! Still don't understand why Bynes hasn't served any minutes of jail time like everyone else. ;p

And Lohan, settle down, wait until tomorrow. lmao.

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 2:11pm.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:37pm.

stop sitting there in your little tie and your little shoes judging us!
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LMAO! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah can't with ya!!!!!! :)))

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Submitted by Get Serious on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 2:09pm.

Submitted by ilovetatertots on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:05pm.

THIS BITCH! I just called her Disney's greatest fuck up on her twitter. Somebody had to
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I'm with you. When she tweeted the pic of the bag, the laptop & the jet (and hilariously referenced how she was living her dreams), I tweeted back "The Chateu Marmont called, they want their stolen laptop back. Nice to be forced to the set against your will in style, eh?"

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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 2:09pm.

snowy is giving me updates via FB. LMFAO! Don't care about spoilers, I'm STIIIIILL going to watch because Dina is obviously so HAMMERED.

Submitted by saltydog88 on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 2:09pm.

This just shows how dumb Lindsay is, Nickelodeon is owned by Viacom which owns about a million other networks. Only a fucking idiot would burn bridges with a company that big.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 2:10pm.

Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:36pm.

stop sitting there in your little tie and your little shoes judging us!

ETA: i'm leaving this thread and avoiding OP until i watch it at 3 p.s.t. i think i'll drink some vodka to aid my Dina-to-English translation skills...

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 2:06pm.

'YOU PEOPLE', (yes, i'm quoting WO)need to STOP torturing those who can't watch that mess RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!!! :((( :P

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 2:02pm.

Awww, Dr. Phil just wants to give WO a chance to tell the world what she's about.

Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 2:02pm.

M.E, thanx a lot!! Lucky Snowphat!

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:59pm.

Hairbo - CBS.

Snowphat is watching it RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:54pm.

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 3:20pm.

Yep, DVR! Unless MK live blogs it!!
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That'd be awsome! What channel is it on anyway? :(

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:50pm.

Yep, DVR! Unless MK live blogs it!!

*hint hint*

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:47pm.

I dvr'd that shit! *burning with shame*

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:46pm.

ugh! I can't watch it live...I have to DVR the White Oprah interview. no fair.

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WALKING DEAD Season 3 premiere: October 14, 2012

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:44pm.

I have a strict "No Dr. Phil" policy in my house, BUT I am breaking that by DVR'ing the Dina Lohan interview. I feel it is a must see. I heard that Dr.Phil let's her have it!

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:42pm.

LMFPO that Lidsay (typo, stays) thinks she's been punished. HAHAHAHAHHAA!

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:39pm.

CodeRed - OMG! I cannot wait for 5pm!(that is when I can watch it).

Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:38pm.

I wanna see that :(

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Submitted by CodeRed on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:38pm.

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 2:58pm.
CodeRed - so it's worth me sacrificing my dignity to watch Dr. Phil?
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definitely. she makes no sense and just told dr.phil, ''but you're a Texan'' out of nowhere, for no purpose. she sometimes closes her eyes for several seconds as if she'd knock out at any moment.

Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:35pm.

http://www.tmz.com/2012/09/17/amanda-bynes-lindsay-lohan-twitter-feud-ja...

Lilo is a bitter witch.

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:28pm.

CodeRed - so it's worth me sacrificing my dignity to watch Dr. Phil?

Submitted by CodeRed on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:25pm.

she tried to ''fist punch'' with dr.phil, then later flipped the bird to the cameras...then says ''I love people, I these people''

i won't spoil it for you and wasn't planning on necessarily watching it, but it's worth it. trust.

wow

Submitted by CodeRed on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:10pm.

I have DR.Phil on now. I can't even listen to what she's saying, I'm too mesmerized by how fucking SMASHED she is. She's always fidgeting and thinking and can't answer the simplest questions saying twice already, ''Help me out here''and ''it's so quiet in here''... she's crying now.... can't formulate a proper sentence. the tape is not ''doctored'', to make her look like a fool only at those moments. OMG. :(

Submitted by betterthanyomama on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:47pm.

This bitch must be talking out of her ass for the attention that she knows it will get.

I am grateful for her former career because when her old shit comes on, I tell my kids, "See, she used to be normal-she used to be sweet, kinda pretty, right? Now look at this cracked out disgusting puta!"

Thank you, Lindsay, for being a walking, talking and tweeting public service announcement. Take a fucking bath.
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Love the Moms in your life. It would suck with out them.

Submitted by dementa on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 12:47pm.

Submitted by Who Datt on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 1:40pm.

She can't. She already blamed the black kid.

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.