Would You Hit It?

Here’s mega man slut Jim Carrey in Malibu yesterday with a girl who isn’t his daughter and looks so damn young she probably gets carded while trying to buy Gatorade. You nasty ole’ bitch, Jim. Jim’s new piece is probably all happy to be dating him, because she gets to drive in fancy cars, eat fancy foods in fancy restaurants and drink fancy drinks on the fancy side of Malibu. But wait until Jim throws a ginger wig on her head and makes her recite all of Emma Stone’s lines from Easy A while he tongues her belly button. There’s a price to pay for everything!

And, duh, I’d hit it. Look at those snow cone titties. You know how when you’re making meringue (because you’re ALWAYS making meringue) and the instructions say to whip until soft peaks form? That’s what Jim’s man chichis look like. Soft peaks in a bowl. So yeah, I’d hit it. But just try not to look at his torso if you’re ever on top, because it does have a face and sometimes its face looks like it’s judging you.