Duchess Kate Sues Closer Magazine For Showing Her Nipples Off To The World

September 14, 2012 / Posted by:

Above is Duchess Kate during happier times at reception in Singapore two days ago when she had a touching and intimate moment with a glass of water. “I like you. We have the same personality” is probably what Duchess Kate said to her new best friend. But now Kate’s smiley face is a frowny face, because Closer Magazine put her titties on display and she’s gonna get those French bitches for it.

Duchess Kate and Prince William lit the canon and shot over a lawsuit to France’s Closer for fucking with her privacy by publishing pictures of her nipples-in-waiting. Lawyers for Kate and William are speeding this shit up and their case will be heard in France on Monday. A rep for St. James Palace released this statement and I’ll be really disappointed if it wasn’t read off of a scroll by a dude with a fluffy feather in his hat:

“Their Royal Highnesses have been hugely saddened to learn that a French publication and a photographer have invaded their privacy in such a grotesque and totally unjustifiable manner. Their Royal Highnesses had every expectation of privacy in the remote house. It is unthinkable that anyone should take such photographs, let alone publish them.”

Apparently, this is a big deal, because the Royal Family barely ever sues the media and they didn’t sue anybody for those magical pictures of Prince Hot Ginge in Las Vegas, but they should. We should all file a civil lawsuit against the dumb dumb skank who took those pictures. I mean, how can you have a naked PHG in front of you and a camera phone in your hand and not get an up-close shot of his royal ginger dick rod winking at you? PHG is a British soldier, so to get him to lift his hands off of the ginger goods, just start humming God Save The Queen. He’d have to lift his hands to salute. (No, I’m not above using the UK National Anthem to trick a ginge into exposing the peen.) We should sue the picture taker for not coming up with that.

Here’s more of Duchess Kate having a special date with water.

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