Don't You Hate It When A Naked Crazy Trick Breaks Into Your House And Starts Fapping On Your Floor?
Bam Margera, one of the humanized scabs from Jackass, has probably been woken up by all sorts of not-so-fresh fuckery like blow horns in his ears, monkey farts in his nostrils and man piss on his face, but last night he was woken up a nekkid ass nekkid crazy bitch who started kissing on him in his bed. Before you shout "So that's what my mom was doing last night!" the crazy girl is 24-years-old.
Every damn night Mel Gibson prays to God to drop a naked, horny young trick into his bed to blow him before Jacuzzi, so Mel's prayer must've somehow been accidentally filed in Bam Margera's prayer box instead. That sound you hear is Mad Mel screaming at God up in the sky for granting his wish to the wrong bitch.
TMZ says that right after the crazy naked bitch woke Bam up by kissing on him, he must've had a moment of clarity and realized only the craziest crazy of skanky skanky bitches would crawl into HIS bed. Because instead of giving her some kisses back, he threw the crazy off of him and called 911. While he was on the phone with 911, the crazy bitch added even more layers of slimy crazy by getting on the floor to do herself with her hand. Once Bam hung up with the police, he kicked that her out of his house. The police later caught her in the area around Bam's house. Bitch could be charged with burglary, criminal trespassing and stalking, and for some reason she wasn't charged with sexual assault and vandalizing carpet with her coochie juices.
THE HELL is right. Either this crazy bitch was a maenad on the wrong stuff or we're going to learn on the next Jackass movie that this was really Johnny Knoxville in a wig and a rubber pussy on his crotch.
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She should have been charged with sexual assault. Absolutely.
And I'm torn, because he has done some awful things to his family and friends, so his being woken In a scary way is sort of ironic. He's tormentes his poor mom plenty!
Having said that, people calling him gay for not banging her should think about how THEY would feel if this happened to them, for real. Waking up to a complete stranger in your bedroom, in your bed, molesting you, must be terrifying.
I thought this fool would try anything once. Guess he's not a real badass, he just plays one on TV.
What happened to his wife? I assumed after seeing their Playboy spread (that he produced), their marriage was headed for nothing but success.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 11:46pm.
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You're saying he deserves death, that "cocksucking asshole". If he were an asshole, he would have fucked her right on the floor. But because he's a "cocksucker" he wouldn't - makes perfect sense.
I get that you housewives don't understand why men liked the stupid stuff these "idiots" were doing, but that's no reason to wish death on somebody.
If a man broke into a house and started fapping and kissing the homeowner he would be charged with sexual assault, so should she.
Starts slow clap for the tenacious coocha.
No but seriously, I thought he and his asshole friends would approve of this sort of ludicrous, outlandish behavior. Pssh.
come to think of it, don't you attract types or people like yourself? It's not too far stretched that he attracts deranged mental cases.
he belongs locked up in a padded room for a few years, him along with his buddies. These guys are a menace to themselves. I think that alone is justification enough. Not to mention issues with booze, drugs, women and even bulimia that are known.
Submitted by KA on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 11:54pm.
omg the comments in this post are killing me. funny fuckers tonight aren't ya?!
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Agreed. I hate to get all mushy, but I had a horrible day today, and MK's posts and you funny sluts really cheered me up. The booze probably helped, too.
What? A guy with a pubic tattoo attracts unstable members of society?! What is wrong with this world?!
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 11:23pm.
Oh yeah isn't this the MILLIONS ARE CRYING cocksucker? Shame you weren't the one in the car with your asshole friend.
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my thoughts exactly. i can't STAND it when people talk about that ryan dunn fuck like he was some sort of hero and it was just a travesty that happened to him. he was a straight up asshole and i dont feel 1% bad for him. and i completely dont understand chicks that are into this bam fucker. he's ugly, trashy and an idiot. yeah that's real sexy. barf.
omg the comments in this post are killing me. funny fuckers tonight aren't ya?!
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Submitted by tomahawk on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 11:27pm.
Well, I guess if he would be that asshole you like him to be, he would've taken advantage of the situation - but he didn't. How come? Because you would assume that he only sucks dicks? Wow, what an asshole!
This pointless ramble makes ZERO sense.
I wonder if I tried that if I would have better luck with the Bamster. I have very good oral skills----so I'm told.
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
Wait. Isn't that Tom Cruise on the Rock of Ages red carpet?
But did she try to staple his nuts to the mattress?
@ tomahawk
Lucy didn't mean "cocksucker" in the literal sense. LOL It is a swear word similar to if you call someone a motherfucker. It doesn't mean they are screwing their Mom. It just is a righteous swear word.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 11:23pm.
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Well, I guess if he would be that asshole you like him to be, he would've taken advantage of the situation - but he didn't. How come? Because you would assume that he only sucks dicks? Wow, what an asshole!
Oh yeah isn't this the MILLIONS ARE CRYING cocksucker? Shame you weren't the one in the car with your asshole friend.
I like him, that's all.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 10:55pm.
Yeah! That's right! I'd be, I'd be ... *drifting off* a millionairrreeee.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 10:49pm.
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Hahahaha!! Are your lips tingling? Are there critters on your bed? Did a hole burn through your floor?
but was it legitimate?
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watching hardcore ufos
TexnDoc -- good one! Too bad the bitch is in NY or otherwise I would have been sure it was her.
@RandéS, I KNOW, you'd be a millionaire! hahaha
*underlines: RandéS likes freaky tricks* ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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He didn't like that she didn't ask him first, picky picky! lol
"and for some reason she wasn't charged with sexual assault and vandalizing carpet with her coochie juices." - lmao MK!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Did she have a pink Birkin? A Chanel belt? Leave by private plane? God Bless.
Why is he biting his shirt like a hyperactive 5-year-old? He's too old to continue being this annoying.
If I had a buck for every time that's happened to me...
I thought it was a Tommy Lee post.
@ Mel
LOL our minds must work in simultaneous evil.
I would think this nutsucker would think Christmas came early.
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www.charitywater.org
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He disgusts me.
That is all.
She should be charged with sexual assault. I don't think there should be a double standard with stuff like this. And if there wasn't, there would probably be more sympathy for women who experience this. And no I am not a mugraneuse alt. That being said, jackass and all its cohorts are nasty trash.
Lol Lucy....I didn't see your post. :)
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
She's obviously either fat or ugly. Because no heterosexual man would kick a hot woman out of his bed no matter how crazy she was.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Hahahah seduction FAIL!!!
I knew this post was coming, ha!
She must have been REALLY ugly for this piece of trash to reject her.