FINALLY! Proof That The Kristen Stewart Cheating Scandal Was All Just A Publicity Stunt!
Because the Fall of Robsten conspiracies are the new 9/11 conspiracies, Jenni Maier at Mashable burped up this hilariously ridiculous video as proof that Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Rupert Sanders and Liberty Ross all manufactured the escandalosoness to bump up their careers. Nobody knew who Liberty Ross was before her husband munched on KStew's box in a Mini Cooper, but now she's suddenly walking the Alexander Wang show at NYFW. Nobody really knew who Rupert Sanders was and now everybody including my mom (who barely knows my first name and sometimes calls me by her cat's name on accident) knows his name. Both RPattz and KStew had non-Twilight movies to promote, so it all makes sense! Well, it makes sense after you smoke a couple of bowls and freebase the Twihard juice. You don't want to know what Twihard juice is. It's not so much juice as it is cream. I'll stop.
Jenni at Mashable asked the second thing I asked after watching this video. The first thing I asked myself was, "Why am I watching this video? Wouldn't straightening then crimping my pubes be a better use of my time?" The second thing I asked myself was, "If they were all in it together, why would they need to doctor the pictures? Couldn't KStew just pose in them herself?" Jenni straightened her tin foil visor and answered that question poking at my brain:
According to this video, Rupert Sanders helped stage these photos with the help of an anonymous women. Clever editing shows that the notorious photos featured in Us Weekly don’t match up to photos of the real location. There are all kinds of scale issues with Rupert Sanders and Kristen Stewart’s height — and it’s easy to get caught up in what this video’s trying to imply.
But what doesn’t make sense to me is why would they fake the photos? That seems like an incredibly immense undertaking that would bring this conspiracy to a whole new level. Not only does it mean Rupert Sanders (and his anonymous henchmen) framed Kristen Stewart, but also that they had a reason to do so.
Not to mention that Kristen Stewart apologized for these photos within 24 hours of the news breaking – and hours before the issue of Us Weekly even hit newstands. So why would she apologize for something so devastating that she hadn’t done so quickly. Wouldn’t this be the kind of issue that would cause marketing teams to come up with an elaborate PR strategy to deflect negative attention from Kristen? A strategy that would probably take an entire day (at the very least) to create.
Commenters allude to the fact that blackmail could be involved and that could be the reason she apologized so quickly.
BLACKMAIL?! Any conspiracy theory that involves BLACKMAIL is my kind of conspiracy theory. That's some Alexis Carrington shit right there. But in order to believe any of these conspiracy theories, we also have to believe that Kristen Stewart isn't six layers of boring who is only capable of drooling on herself, biting at her lip, blinking and making mouth love to a fully loaded bong. Once I see a detailed video disproving that theory, I'll consider believing the other theories.
For now, the only thing this video proves is that when you mix together a Twihard, the music of Jet, Google Street View and an all-night meth binge, fucked up things happen.
via HuffPo
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this is perfectly retarded.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
I don't care who fucked whom... but I got myself a shiney new signature!
"Why am I watching this video? Wouldn't straightening then crimping my pubes be a better use of my time?" MichaelK
this doesn't make any sense. if they were in on it then why would they have to photoshop pictures? they could just pose for them.
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
Submitted by Stessie1216 on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 9:03am.
The scorned wife and mother has the MOST to gain. Maybe they are all friends and stew and pat were breaking up anyway and they did this for her?
But make yourself a skank slut for some womans career? Who does that?
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Kristen, Rupert, etc., didn't do it for the wife, they did it for themselves. Why? Publicity. It worked. The past several years have shown that if you are a complete screw up or do something scandalous, you get lots of free publicity. Look at all the reality tv shits. People can't get enough of them.
Rich, ambitious people like Kristen, Rob, Rupert, can never have enough money. To think otherwise is naive.
The entire thing was fake from start to finish, like most things in Hollywood. All involved got their slice of the devil's pie; fame, money, press. The stupid gobbled it up and opened their wallets to buy tickets, magazines, etc. Well done, boys and girls. Golf clap.
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"Dude is like a human version of a white, windowless van" - Michael K.
I know it's early and my coffee hasn't kicked in yet, but even if these two things weren't true I don't think I would understand what the above video was trying to show me. Someone wasted a lot of time.
Submitted by Stessie1216 on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 9:03am.
But make yourself a skank slut for some womans career? Who does that?
a skank slut.
DUH.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 7:01am.
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:23pm.
am I the only one who thinks Rupert is sexy? I mean, I totally would....
Girl, they invented laser eye surgery for this very problem.
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LMAOOOO! Thanks for the tip ;)
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Douchechill!
I thought the pictures looked "fake" as in she and Rupert went out and posed and put on this charade on purpose. She looks like she is acting and posing in the the pictures at the fence.
But why? Her and r patz are set for life financially if they never work another day. 3 years ago people were saying R Patz was going to be the next Leonardo Dicaprio and that hasn't happened. K Stew always has critics saying she great but she just pouts, breaths heavy, last if that's in place of a word, and pushes her hair behind her ear over and over again. The girl in Vampire Sucks has her shitty acting down to a science.
The scorned wife and mother has the MOST to gain. Maybe they are all friends and stew and pat were breaking up anyway and they did this for her?
But make yourself a skank slut for some womans career? Who does that?
Submitted by mfarris70 on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 8:01am.
Liberty Ross has been a top model for over 10 years.
A "top" model? LOL no she hasn't.
I still keep thinking about when Kristen said something to the effect that she wanted some drama in her life and then *poof* it came.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Liberty Ross has been a top model for over 10 years.
Stephanie meyers should be hounded from society into an afghani cave
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:23pm.
am I the only one who thinks Rupert is sexy? I mean, I totally would....
Girl, they invented laser eye surgery for this very problem.
It's black male not blackmail.
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The relationship was a charade to keep people interested in the Twilight series and to get them to buy movie tix.
The movies are over now, so of course there's no reason for RPatts and KStew to stay together. So they stage a ridiculous breakup.
Why is this not obvious to everyone else?
I can even see KStew coming up with the idea herself--"Yeah, let's have me kissing another guy and the paps will catch me."
Why they would drag a married man with children into this game ? I have no idea. That detail is a mystery to me.
everyone knows that KStew is a lesbian
I love the song that played in the beginning. I've hated everything else I've heard from them, though.
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
But what about the man on the grassy knoll?
He is involved....
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Whoever made that video needs to stop sobbing into their scrapbook of Robsten photos, and pick up tomorrow's homework.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
It has always been clear to me that the Pattinson boy and the Mouthbreather were in a staged 'relationship' for the benefit of the movie studio and the $$ generated with each successive shit movie. Aside from that, it would appear that Mouthbreather was set up by the direktor and his woman but I didn't need the 'video' to tell me that.
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"You wait. They gonna get everybody on twitter, facebook, doing everythin' online and then they gonna pull the PLUG and we all gonna be FUCKED!"
Way too much to wrap my brain around... I would think the whole "its not you its me" shit would have been just as effective.
Oh crap, I just bit my lip.
What in the fuck did I just watch?
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"... the Kardashians are redefining class with every pinky they lift while sucking a black dick on camera." - MK
They were playing us and the media like a fiddle.
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...my cat has spit up hairballs with more genuine emotion, entertainment value, and charm than any one of this lot...
...yeepers creepers I wish this whole Twihard ridiculousness had never been visited upon this world...
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...'somethin's missin' alright...'...
This conspiracy is soooo boring (and stupid). I DO agree that the affair seems staged, but who gives enough fucks to make a video trying to prove it?! Regardless, am I the only one who thinks Rupert is sexy? I mean, I totally would....
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Douchechill!
Big pet peeve! single=woman, plural=women
Other than that, I don't care either. I have dust bunnies that are far more interesting than this lot.
I BELIEVE IT!
BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN!?!?! oh yeah, that I don't give a shit and never will.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
People said I was crazy when I suggested that Kristen was manipulated by Skeevy director and his desperate wife.
It all seemed so convenient, especially when she started to do fashion shows again.
Fabbich extraordinaire NuttyMadam MUST SEE THIS.
Fuck, I wish it were this complicated and shady. That might make Hollywood a bit more interesting if people were going to such lengths to masterfully concoct publicity stunts! But alas, paparazzi have slush for brains and Kstew and Rupert aren't interesting enough to wanna stir up such drama.
I always did feel the romance between Pattinson and Stewart was faked but this breakup somewhat legitimized for me. Who knows though?
It's completely endeared me to Robert Pattinson though. I used to not "get" it with him but now I want to drag his wounded ass to my love lair and make him my loveslave.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 8:58pm.
For a post that had a wang, pubes, meth and Alexis Carrington that sure was a boring video. But you did your best, MK.
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Hahaha! Agreed.
The details of the "publicity scandal" were way too convenient. Just another PR stunt by the HW marketing teams.
We need Cosmo Kramer to narrate this video and somehow work in a ricocheting loogie.
I've been saying for YEARS that this was a fauxmance to separate morons from their money and this kind of denial is the norm for the Robstenites. So glad you all get to see it now.
This chick is chronically bitch-faced, dirty and greasy. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy does she need to be relevant, why God, why? Other crack whores aren't this publicized.....
Who cares if it happened, the photos were doctored and it was milked it for all it was worth... ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Staged or not nobody cares. They could of tried harder to make it all believable.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
A-wha???? That makes my head hurt. Furthermore who gives a f#%k. She's awful.
Um, why did someone waste tme creating this, and why did I waste two minutes watching half of it? And would a little narration hurt? However, looks like English is not Jenni's first language, so maybe it's better with all the red circles and shit, and the 'Where did these photos taken' captions.
There's something wrong with those twinerds that are all upset about two retards not rubbing their stinky fuck parts together anymore. You have more important shit to do like studying for your fucking math test.
How about the fact that the pics of KStew and whatshisname were clearly staged? Why would they hook up OUTSIDE while staring at a photographer? I didn't know people actually thought this was a real scandal.
I don't care enough to click "play".
Its all interesting, probably be more so if I cared what stewie did or not.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 9:21pm.
IF!!... *waves*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN9jTnxv0RU
OT: i would, but, ya know... i just couldn't care less... may the gods protect me from rampant vampire, and werewolf attacks.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I'm loving the Twi-tard comments, they are as hilariously delusional as this video (yes I did watch the whole video, don't judge me)
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I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
ESE!
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Dark-sided!
yawn.... *goes back to playing with ball of yarn*