Amanda Bynes Trades In Drinking And Driving For Toking And Driving

September 13, 2012 / Posted by:

If Amanda Bynes had any fucks to give about her situation, she already ground it up in her weed grinder and smoked it in her one hitter. TMZ has a gallery of over 20 pictures of Amanda Bynes living the dream by smoking the good shit out of a cigarette lighter pipe in her BMW before eating Baja Fresh tacos and toking up again in a Home Depot parking lot. I know, what a beyond dumb bitch. I mean, who inhales the breath of the Gods while parked in a Home Depot parking lot? Does she really want her buzz ruined by a day worker (who is probably my cousin) knocking on her car window to ask if she needs her roof fixed or something?

Amanda shouldn’t even be driving, because: a) She’s Amanda Bynes and she’s more of a menace to drivers than a Ke$hit song popping up on the radio (Nothing will make you want to crash into the center divider like the sound of Ke$hit’s auto-tuned mouth farts.) and; b) Bitch got her license suspended on August 25th, because she refused to blow into the breathalyzer during her DUI arrest.

The paps first caught Amanda at a Baja Fresh in the Valley and clicked their cameras as she took herself higher in the car in between eating on some delicious tacos. Toking and eatin’ is real stressful, so Amanda got her stoned muscles massaged at a spa for 3 hours. Amanda got back in her car and drove the way you’d expect Amanda to drive. Bumper Car Mandy cut people off and broke a bunch of traffic laws. Amanda drove around aimlessly for several hours before driving into a Home Depot parking lot to suck on her pipe some more. While Amanda was away from her car, the paps took pictures of the inside and just like her life, it’s a sad mess. It’s like peeking into the inside of her brain. There’s shit scattered everywhere and the one empty can of A&W tells me that maybe just maybe she’s capable of making one good decision.

What more is there to say about this mess. I wouldn’t be surprised if Amanda turned to a life of joo-ree thieving to support her weed and tacos habit (ala Lindsay Lohan) or inherited Brit Brit’s pink wig and started terrorizing gas stations. And the paps are either really shitty business people or Amanda bribed them with a taco to not call the cops on her and snap away as her stoned ass got taken away in handcuffs. My guess is the latter, because if the paps are anything like me, they’ll do anything if you wave a Baja Fresh taco at them.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >