James Franco Wants To Be One Half Of The World’s Most Insufferable Couple

September 11, 2012 / Posted by:

Lainey at Lainey Gossip is hearing that Kristen Stewart hasn’t yet drawn an X on her relationship contract with Robert Pattinson using jizz from Rupert Sanders’ wandering peen. Robsten is unbroken (a nerve in my no-no lips loses its feeling whenever I type that) for now, but Radar says that didn’t stop KStew from flirting with James Franco at a TIFF party in Toronto over the weekend.

Since James Franco considers himself the be all and end all of the art world and Kristen Stewart looks like Dora Maar as painted by Picasso, he went after her at a party and tried to get her to stop biting her lip to bite his lip instead (you decide which one). The source said this:

“Kristen and James bumped into each other at the Intercontinental Hotel in Toronto during the film festival and were engaged in conversation for 20 minutes. There was a lot of flirting and Kristen was overjoyed by the attention she was getting from James, who was gushing over her, saying what a great actress he thinks she is and was full of praise for her latest movie, On the Road. She seemed at ease in his company, and he was certainly making her laugh. She was wearing a huge grin on her face. At the end of their chance meeting, James took Kristen’s number and asked her out for dinner. Kristen initially said no, but is mulling over the idea.”

We can all say that if KStew and Franco got together for real, we’d all sprain our optic nerves from rolling our eyeballs so much, but these two actually make sense. James Franco can spend his nights with Kristen Stewart talking about James Franco and how James Franco is redefining creativity and if James Franco displayed a puff of his pubic hair at The Whitney thousands of people would wait hours to see it and James Franco this and James Franco that… KStew would sit there, smiling and giggling, and he’d think it was because of all the genius thoughts coming out of his mouth. But no, KStew is only giggling and smiling because she’s stoned out of her mind and thinks that with every sneaky queef she lets out, she’s secretly getting everyone in the room higher.

James Franco can talk about himself and only himself, and KStew can get high without having to talk at all. They’re perfect for each other! (And yes, I’ve sat in a room and thought I was getting everyone in the room higher with my farts.)

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