“Don’t fucking touch me, dude!” is what the paps say fell out of Kristen Stewart’s mouth this morning when a bodyguard tried to help her walk through the crowd at Pearson International Airport in Toronto. It warms the core of my cunt gene knowing that supposedly spending weeks Emo-ing into her bong over shitting on RPattz’s sparkly heart hasn’t changed her miserable bitch ways.
KStew wore RPattz’s dirty hat on her head AGAIN and this means that either: a) The prop master of the staged production known as her fake relationship with RPattz hasn’t collected it yet or; b) KStew wants the dried unicorn sweat from RPattz’s enchanted forest hair on top of her head as much as possible; or c) That actually isn’t RPattz’s hat. KStew stole that hat from a hobo she bitched out after he looked at her funny. Shifty hobos and RPattz do have the exact same fashion sense.
While promoting On The Road at TIFF yesterday, The Associated Press asked KStew if it’s going to be awkward promoting the last Twatlight movie in November with RPattz and she only said, “We’re going to be fine. We’re totally fine.”
Some of the crazed Twihards on Twitter think that means ROBSTEN IS UNBROKEN and real, authentic true love isn’t dead, so they don’t have to spend the rest of their nights bawling into the pile of dead cats they didn’t take care of, because they’re too torn apart to leave the house to buy cat food. But to me this just means that Robsten’s contract has expired and at the premiere of Twatlight in November, they’re both going to behave themselves and won’t scrap over that hat while Bear Pattinson cheers RPattz on.