At the Toronto International Film Festival last night, Eva Mendes (or as some of her Gosling-loving haters call her, “Evil MANlez“) posed next to Canada’s god Ryan Gosling (who can make a maple tree jizz out a gallon of syrup just by winking at it) and Bradley Cooper at the premiere of their movie The Place Beyond The Pines. Never mind that Ryan is dressed like the assistant manager of a restaurant at Knott’s Berry Farm, I love that Eva’s mouth is open in almost every single picture. It’s like she’s telling her haters to get a serious whiff of the scent of Ryan’s taint (smells like maple syrup candy, the tears of an angel, cherry-flavored Clearly Canadian and poutine) wafting out of her mouth.
Yes, Eva and Ryan have the chemistry of a burnt out match and a puddle of tap water, but I still love the bitch eyes that she’s throwing at hos. Let a trick know what’s up by giving them a glare that says: “I know I look like a wax Cesar Romero in drag as Norma Desmond, but I still put my mouth on your pretend boyfriend every single night, bitch.”