At some dumb Halloween party a few years back, I wore a jailbird costume from KMart and the only thing I spent quality time with was a giant bowl of candy corn. I ate candy corn after candy corn until some rude shit in a Where’s Waldo? costume interrupted my candy corn party for one to judge me. The rude shit told me that candy corn is gross and it’s basically just ear wax dipped in corn syrup and I am the only person on earth who smiles while eating candy corn. Bitch had a point, so now whenever I get a candy corn craving and don’t have any candy corn around, I just dip one of my used Q-tips in corn syrup and eat that. And I’m sure a dirty Q-tip dipped in corn syrup is exactly what the new limited-edition Candy Corn Oreos taste like. I can’t wait!
Only Target is selling this mess and it’s only for a limited time starting September 10th. That gives me plenty of time to eat all the boxes of Girl Scout cookies in my freezer to make way for bags upon bags of this deliciousness. Thank you, Nabisco, for coming up with new ways to make us all fatter!