True Love Just Jumped Off A Bridge: Will Arnett & Amy Poehler Broke Up
We all have two options:
1. Curse at Lainey at Lainey Gossip for writing a blind item that was made one of hundred percent fact.
or
2. Grab a soggy waffle and do the slow wall slide before becoming a sad puddle of misery on the floor. Because People just said this:
Amy Poehler and Will Arnett are calling it quits.The comedic stars, who wed in August 2003, are ending their marriage, a rep for both actors confirms to PEOPLE. The couple are parents to two sons – Archie, 3½, and Abel, 2.
And we have to hear it from People?! Amy and Will didn't even knock on each one of our doors, sit us on the sofa and tell us to hug our favorite sofa pillow (you know you have one) before breaking the news to us gently and telling us that everything okay and we'll see Will every other weekend (because NetFlix will start airing the new Arrested Development episodes early and every other weekend to help us deal with this tragic news)?
Let's just cancel marriage altogether since it's obviously a LIE! Jennifer Aniston had it right for so long. It's best to stay a miserable, lonely, dog-hoarding, dry in the pussy spinster who fills her empty heart with tequila. Because unlike love, tequila never does us wrong. (Cut to me in five minutes, opening up my kitchen cabinet to find an empty bottle of Patron. DAMMIT ALL TO COLD SHIT!)
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from the overall situation of 2005, the export of Chinas trade is restricted circumstances than in previous years have been improved. EU initiated anti-dumping investigations on Chinese footwear products, on the one hand, is a very serious challenge, on the other hand, brings an opportunity for the development of enterprises. The anti-dumping all countries in the use of trade defense instruments, even among developed countries also continue to occur. China-made footwear industry after more than 10 years of rapid development, has been conditionally also capable of moving to a higher level. Therefore, our business efforts from a number of large-scale shift to quality and efficiency; In the long run, but also to improve their awareness of the market economy, to learn and to use WTO rules. In terms of the enterprise, the more important it is needed to train their own internal strength, such as the the Aokang Group in cooperation with the Italian brand GEOX, humbly learning ability of the "wolf", master advanced technologies and concepts of international brands. Therefore, only a down-to-earth manner reshape a good image of Chinas footwear industry, with excellent quality, reasonable prices and international brands to participate in the competition of the worlds largest market.
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Marriage fails as soon as people get into a frenzy about having kids. These two were both on their way to stardom when they got married. They started having kids as they were both peaking. Why? What is the huge rush? I'm not a baby-hater, but it's pretty much accepted that kids kill modern marriage.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
I hope they don't become a Hollywood cliche. Be good to the kids. Divorce sucks.
Who gives a shit. Amy Poehler is irritating as hell.
Awww!!! Make it work you two!!!!!
so sad :(
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Am I the only one who doesn't care about this story? I hate both of them and their characters. (Love Parks and Rec but it would be so much better without Leslie) I just think they try way way too hard to be hilarious and 'quirky.'
I, like another poster, dislike every character she has ever played.
@ Madam Pince: I'm probably totally off-base, but it wouldn't surprise me if Will is tired of the demands of being a parent and wants to fuck around like a bachelor again.
You're probably *not* off-base at all. When couples break up after more than a few years, and especially if there are kids, there is either (1) abuse or (2) a new relationship. And I doubt the working mother of 2 toddlers (even if she has nannies) has the time and the hormonal inclination to start an affair.
I usually don't give much of a shit about celeb divorces but this one genuinely makes me sad. I really thought those two crazy kids would make it.
Hope they keep it all chill for Kids
this is suck sucky news. love these two. i have a sinking feeling, though, that will is probably a lot like jason bateman's "juno" character.
whatever, amy still gets to make out with adam scott on a weekly basis. she wins.
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watching hardcore ufos
Submitted by vsminimoose on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 7:56pm.
ouch. I remember reading Mindy Kaling's book and she wrote about these two as a couple. She said they had such an authentic and wonderful relationship. They were always so cool with each other, loving and respectful. She actually went into it quite a bit. Who knows if she knows shit about shit when it comes to their relationship but I'm guessing she's pretty upset about this too.
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This just proves you never can tell about people in relationships, especially with performers. They "perform" for a living.
That's too bad, they were sweet!
"Let's just cancel marriage altogether since it's obviously a LIE!" - haha MK!
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
I'm curious as to where all the "He's a dick" comments are coming from--what's the deal with him? Does he stiff waiters, or act all high-and-mighty on sets or something?
Divorce sucks.
I saw an interview with her a few months ago, can't remember where, and she was talking about Will playing video games with his friends ALL THE TIME, so it kind of seemed like she was not 100% happy with him. Still, love Arrested Development and Parks and Rec, bummed out for them.
Not even a scandal between these two. They don't deserve to be in Hollywood. Parks and Rec is a funny show and I hope for her continued success.
............................................
Didn't they play the creepy, too-close brother/sister ice skating partners in "Blades of Glory?"
This is sad.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
I always liked Amy & really liked Mindy Kaling's description of their marriage. I'm probably totally off-base, but it wouldn't surprise me if Will is tired of the demands of being a parent and wants to fuck around like a bachelor again.
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"Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you're rewarded significantly." ~~ Jon Hamm
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 10:33pm.
@LucyAnn - I'm too distracted by the pink slime at the bottom. Gawd. That shit's enough to make me become a vegetarian for life.
nice sig, btw....excited for the Hobbit!? I know I'm gonna be the nerdy ho that's out there dressed up....first in line!
Thanks!
Gosh, I can't stand that ad, or the one with the poor pig chewing on the metal cage. Sometimes I wonder if we were meant to be vegetarians...
And yes, I've watched every trailer, every behind the scene clip, etc. When they sing the Misty Mountain song I always get a shiver. Can't wait!
great to know ye!
♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥
elen sila lumen omentilmo-LOTR
i have to say, this is prolly the only blind item i ever saw clearly
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
@LucyAnn - I'm too distracted by the pink slime at the bottom. Gawd. That shit's enough to make me become a vegetarian for life.
nice sig, btw....excited for the Hobbit!? I know I'm gonna be the nerdy ho that's out there dressed up....first in line!
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Divorce sucks and even worse when there are kids involved.
Off T: Is anyone else annoyed by the naked blonde flipping the bird in the Bohomoth ad?
♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥
elen sila lumen omentilmo-LOTR
Well fuck. I liked these two. I never really got a couple-y vibe from them, but still....fuck.
Spielberg and Capshaw are next.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Submitted by Possum on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 9:47pm.
Sad. She seems like a cool person.
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I've said it a few times but I don't know if you've every seen it, love your avie and Kung Fu Hustle is up there as one of my favorite movies :)
Submitted by SandwichQueen on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 9:55pm.
you can have him. i'm going to marry his mom and screw him out of his inheritance
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Dirquoi I couldn't agree more.
As someone who works in social services I can say that i am so sick and tired of people who have kids without a reliable partner
Christina applegate? She's the third party? He's not good looking.
Submitted by snowball on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 9:50pm.
I'm sorry because divorce fucking sucks. It's almost harder when neither side is a piece of shit because you have to be all nice about things when you'd rather not be.
I totally agree. Sometimes relationships just fizzle and it's no one's fault. Divorce is hard for everyone.
I blame Christina Applegate. She's the reason & now I have to hate her
See, this is why I plan on just living my life dedicating my love to Anderson Cooper (aka my luvah!). No risk of divorce. Plus he's gay. But like I'd let that get in my way anyway!
I'll pretend to care because they probably read this site.
Oh what the hell, I always liked these two. It's a shame. Divorce sucks.
I'm sorry because divorce fucking sucks. It's almost harder when neither side is a piece of shit because you have to be all nice about things when you'd rather not be. I feel bad for their little kids.
I don't know anything about these two, really so I don't exactly want to throw myself in front of a truck. I swear though, there are plans for a mass suicide, a la Heaven's Gate, going on over at ONTD.
Sad. She seems like a cool person.
Submitted by Bda: "They seemed like equals before but now he's probably feeling himself now and fucking other tricks."
I get that feeling, too. Don't care much for Will, but I like Amy.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 8:20pm.
Submitted by ditquoi on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 7:57pm.
God, why when you have two small children??? They must HATE each other. :'(
Yeah, but when your last kid is a ginge, it can change everything. : (
http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/post/23105869614/amy-poehlers-ginger-bab...
nice douchtastic pic of dad with his chest hair blowin in the breeze...barf.
Not a fan of either, but it's always sad when a marriage ends.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I don't want to live in a world where Will and Amy are divorced and Miley Cyrus wears an elderly African woman's headscarf (see add for stupid-dumb MTV VMAs).
http://icanseewhyshessingle.com/
Anyone watching the mtv awards? *Don't judge lol I'm at the gym!
Anyways the twinkle in Taylor Lautners eyes when the boy bands one direction and the wanted came out makes me believe those gay whispers!!!
vsminimoose
ouch. I remember reading Mindy Kaling's book and she wrote about these two as a couple. She said they had such an authentic and wonderful relationship. They were always so cool with each other, loving and respectful. She actually went into it quite a bit. Who knows if she knows shit about shit when it comes to their relationship but I'm guessing she's pretty upset about this too.
_______________________________________________
The only reason I know about these two's marriage is because of Mindy Kaling's book lol. Oh well they sounded sweet together.
I love these two...fuck, this is sad.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
aww, that's sad for them and the little boys.
Lindsay Lohan's costar's nalgas flew her so close to the sun that they both exploded into stardust that still lights up Hollywood.
They seemed like equals before but now he's probably feeling himself now and fucking other tricks.
Submitted by anonymous7643 on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 9:02pm.
Is anyone else unable to stand Amy on screen? I mean she's probably a funny writer (not sure what she has written exactly) and she seems like a cool gal but I"m not a fan of her mannerisms/stage presence.
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I first saw Amy WAY BACK in the day on Comedy Central in the "Upright Citizen Bridgade" the famous (infamous) NY Improv group. She was the only woman and she was hilarious.
Then she got the gig on SNL. I don't find Park and Recreation funny, but I don't find that kind of "mock"umentory comedy funny. (The Office bores the shit outta me).
I wish them the best. They seem like really decent people.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 8:05pm.
Broderick and Parker? 15 years?
Don't know if they're cute though.
Prinze and Gellar? 10 years or so?
They're cute, but don't know if you'd consider her comedic...or him.
can't think of anyone else.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Nine years is practically an eternity in famous-people world. So um, congrats to them I guess. Whatever.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Ohh why couldn't have CDAN wrote that blind item so there was zero chance of it being true!
I liked them together.
Is anyone else unable to stand Amy on screen? I mean she's probably a funny writer (not sure what she has written exactly) and she seems like a cool gal but I"m not a fan of her mannerisms/stage presence.
Damn, Michael K, you get this shit right all the time:
From August 30th
http://dlisted.com/2012/08/30/blind-items-i-guess-you-guess
I really liked this couple and thought they were so UN Hollywood that they would be together for a long time. They had two kids together.
I usually don't say this, but I hope they can work things out.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
Submitted by chinchilla on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 8:21pm.
Archibald & Abel sounds like of those cheesy two-bit law firms you see hawking ambu-chasing services late at night.
Also, I'm not quite ashamed to admit I loved her work in Deuce Bigalow. Nobody but nobody can yell shitwhore at the top of their lungs quite like Amy.
Wish them all well.
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OMG! I totally didn't realize that weas her until just now when you pointed it out!!! HAHAHAHA! I just rewatched that clip on YouTube. Well then that's the only thing I've ever liked that she's done. And I'm not a huge fan of him either. They'll both be fucking new people soon enough so whatever.
Sad for the little boys....never fair for kids.